Emotionally Desperate

I was talking to a friend last night and trying to work through some things and I said something to the effect of that I am emotionally desperate, and she agreed. So I asked her to elaborate, and this is what she said:

well.... first there was dylan, and all the emotional trauma that came w/ that, and then there was james, and E V E R Y T H I N G that went/is going with that... and you're struggling with your brothers and your parents, and your job and the car..... you have a lot on your mind. Having a boy you can entrust your thoughts and feelings into is a big deal. Girlfriends can only do so much, can only go to a certain level.

And you know, she is exactly right. This is something that I havent been able to articulate, but because she has heard all of it she did.

So whats next for me?
Good question, I dont think that anything will change, persay.
No, I will just dig down a little deeper and work on being just me.
I sometimes feel very needy and I dont want to be so needy, so working on independence, so to speak will be good.
Another thing that I need to do is to remove the idea that I am creepy, because really, as I've been told I'm NOT creepy. I feel like I come off as the "creepy girl that sits in the middle at every game and takes stats" but friends and family say that the guys probably dont really care all that much, and if anything they like having a dedicated fan.
So yea, I may not hang out with the basketball players, or the baseball players or the soccer players, so maybe I'm just a silent fan, ok I'm not that silent, but still. A fan that shows up for the games and doesnt expect to hang out afterwards. Is that a good thing or no? I dont know, but it is just a part of who I am, so maybe, it doesnt really matter.

Today, heres to the Big Blue (UK is playing UL in football) and embracing who I am, without thinking of myself as creepy!