eight three one

I miss him/you.
Its silly, I get that, but more and more I miss him. Not the person that I first met and got to know, although he was pretty cool too, no I miss the one that I got to see, if only briefly that Thursday in May.
We as J and J have a history, one that doesnt really work out. But that night, we did work out. I know he thinks I am silly for thinking about it a lot, but that is just what my idle mind thinks of... sorry dude. You want my mind to think about something different, give it something different to think about! lol.

At least I feel less angsty about things. I've decided we are like the ocean, we have tides, we get close we fall apart, sometimes things are easy and other times they are incredibly annoyingly not so easy. And then comes a hurricane, where things go crazy- usually its my doing, and then things calm down and we have our little routine.
I guess I just dont want us to get set in our ways. I dont want to hit a stalemate where we are now. I want a challenge, something different, something that doesnt follow the things we've done before. Lets have an oil spill, get everything super sticky and messy! Yea, bad joke, my bad, but at least it gets the point across.

I am not going anywhere, but that doesnt mean that I am running away. Im just not running toward you, like I felt I have before. This time, I want you to run to me. Show me that I am not just a toy in your life, something that you get tired of after a while. Show me that I am something that you want to keep.

PS- This girl gets to go home with a nice beach look! woot woot! :)