I'm not a woman that is petite or skinny. Nor am I someone who overly large. I mean technically my BMI classifies me as being overweight, but it's just a number. So is my weight- it's just a number, quantifying my personal gravity.
Around this time last year I was successfully losing weight, it made me happy. I got to the point where I was halfway to my goal, and I just wanted another 15 pounds gone. And the weight loss stopped.
There's a magic number that I've hovered around since, any reading above that number and I'm sad. Readings below that number and I am super happy and I eat something extra.
I gave up sodas for 40 days or so. But then I decided I really liked them and this was my body and if I wanted a soda I should be able to have a soda. I promptly fell off the bandwagon and there were days when I would have 5 or 6 servings of soda. Damn. Soda is good, but not THAT good. I should enjoy it in moderation.
Ah, moderation. That's the word that we are always given, right? Moderation of alcohol, of sweets, of anything we really like, because its probably bad for us.
Moderation is good. Going off the deep end can be good too- you just gotta believe in yourself to be able to swim to get back into the shallow end.
But I digress, this is about body image, not my feelings about food or the magic number.
My body image varies daily. One day I think I look absolutely fantastic and the next I look totally awful. I didn't continue to push myself to lose the additional 15 pounds to my goal weight because I generally feel good about where I am. Yes, I have this little pooch of fat. Yes, I have love handles, but ok. IT IS OK. This body is mine and so far, it hasn't let me down in anything I've wanted to do.
Also, I wear the same sized clothes now that I did in high school. I started high school approximately 10 years ago. I am approximately 10 pounds heavier than I was in high school. And last year I was more fit than I had been in high school.
And my whole point about this post is that my body image is fluid. As is most of my body, it changes, it adapts and it is mine. Don't punish your body for having a little more fluff than you want.
What I am saying, is find a happy spot with your body. A place where you like yourself, generally. You don't have to love yourself every day, just a piece of yourself. Love your mind today if your body is god awful. Love your heart. Your personality. We are not just our body, we are a whole package.
On the other hand, if you wake up some day and find yourself heavier than you've ever been and you are unhappy and generally don't like where your habits are, change them. It doesn't have to be a big change, sometimes a small change makes all the difference in the world.
But most of all, do not be overly harsh on yourself. You are a work in progress. Your body is a work in progress, your mind, your fitness, your education. We are not ever stagnant beings. We move, we breathe, we eat and we find ways to deal.
Last night, I looked at myself in the mirror, really looked at my whole being. I didn't hate it. I didn't LOVE it, but I was happy with it. I am not perfect, last week, I was more than 1-2 pounds over my "magic" number and I was miserable. So, I ate healthier, I exercised more and I got back down to my "respectable" weight. Like I said, its a fluid thing. Its not perfect. But my body does every single thing that I demand of it, and for that I am grateful and I will take it out, proudly. That's not saying I'll be wearing a bikini anytime soon. But I will love at least a piece of myself every single day.
Around this time last year I was successfully losing weight, it made me happy. I got to the point where I was halfway to my goal, and I just wanted another 15 pounds gone. And the weight loss stopped.
There's a magic number that I've hovered around since, any reading above that number and I'm sad. Readings below that number and I am super happy and I eat something extra.
I gave up sodas for 40 days or so. But then I decided I really liked them and this was my body and if I wanted a soda I should be able to have a soda. I promptly fell off the bandwagon and there were days when I would have 5 or 6 servings of soda. Damn. Soda is good, but not THAT good. I should enjoy it in moderation.
Ah, moderation. That's the word that we are always given, right? Moderation of alcohol, of sweets, of anything we really like, because its probably bad for us.
Moderation is good. Going off the deep end can be good too- you just gotta believe in yourself to be able to swim to get back into the shallow end.
But I digress, this is about body image, not my feelings about food or the magic number.
My body image varies daily. One day I think I look absolutely fantastic and the next I look totally awful. I didn't continue to push myself to lose the additional 15 pounds to my goal weight because I generally feel good about where I am. Yes, I have this little pooch of fat. Yes, I have love handles, but ok. IT IS OK. This body is mine and so far, it hasn't let me down in anything I've wanted to do.
Also, I wear the same sized clothes now that I did in high school. I started high school approximately 10 years ago. I am approximately 10 pounds heavier than I was in high school. And last year I was more fit than I had been in high school.
And my whole point about this post is that my body image is fluid. As is most of my body, it changes, it adapts and it is mine. Don't punish your body for having a little more fluff than you want.
What I am saying, is find a happy spot with your body. A place where you like yourself, generally. You don't have to love yourself every day, just a piece of yourself. Love your mind today if your body is god awful. Love your heart. Your personality. We are not just our body, we are a whole package.
On the other hand, if you wake up some day and find yourself heavier than you've ever been and you are unhappy and generally don't like where your habits are, change them. It doesn't have to be a big change, sometimes a small change makes all the difference in the world.
But most of all, do not be overly harsh on yourself. You are a work in progress. Your body is a work in progress, your mind, your fitness, your education. We are not ever stagnant beings. We move, we breathe, we eat and we find ways to deal.
Last night, I looked at myself in the mirror, really looked at my whole being. I didn't hate it. I didn't LOVE it, but I was happy with it. I am not perfect, last week, I was more than 1-2 pounds over my "magic" number and I was miserable. So, I ate healthier, I exercised more and I got back down to my "respectable" weight. Like I said, its a fluid thing. Its not perfect. But my body does every single thing that I demand of it, and for that I am grateful and I will take it out, proudly. That's not saying I'll be wearing a bikini anytime soon. But I will love at least a piece of myself every single day.
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