So I have realized one of my biggest problems, and its sad that it took me so long to realize this. I find myself falling for guys a lot and before now I didnt realize why I would fall for someone only to be hurt. Its my want to fit in. But now that I know this maybe I will not get so hurt so often. See today, thanks to my brother, I realized that the only people that I absolutely need right now are my family. Yes, my friends are important too but my family is the most important. I hope that one day I will find the right guy and that I will hold on to him. See another problem of mine is that I find guys that really like me and we will go out but soon after we start "going out" I realize that they aren't the ones for me so I dump them. This has happened twice in the past year. I dont know why but I get scared off too easily. Yea, this is a flaw of mine but its something that I am going to learn to deal with and hopefully this WONT keep me from someone that I really love. But until then I guess those who I date will have to live with my flaws and hopeiflly one day I wont get scared of the one who really matters. So til next time....
Jessie
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Almost 1 year anniversary
So as I am writing this blog I am remembering all that has happened in the almost year that has gone by since I created this. In the past year I have:
Liked many people
Had 1 (yes 1) relationship ( and it lasted all of a week and a half)
Missed the ones that I grew up with
Cried Several times
Been called a stalker
Gotten addicted to Myspace
But as I say some of the big things that have happened in the past year. The thing that is on my mind is something that has happened within the last month. See I had fallen for another guy. I apparently do this quite often and quite hard. And as of yesterday he has a girlfriend. This really shocked me. See I thought that I might actually have a chance with this guy. The main reason behind my thinking was that he was older than me. So I thought that this was my chance to really have a good relationship. See I have only had 2 real relationships in my life and only one kiss, but that is besides the point. The point is that with both relationships I was the older person. This doesnt really bother me but when I found this new guy, lets call him KS I was happy at the thought of maybe having a relationship with him. I think that I really had deep feelings for him. I thought of him differently than I had other guys that I have liked.
I guess this post is just for me to get some hard feelings out, though that is often the base upon which I write.
I do realize that one day I will hopefuly find my prince charming. This is not quite the thing that I want to think about. Like some of my close friends, I want a person to love me now. Someone that will hold me and be there for me. I have great friends and a great family but its just not the same. For all the girls out there that are 16 and over and havent really had a good relationship yet. Hang in there, we will all get our chance someday. Our peak is NOT in high school. Our peak is later in life, when its much more rewarding. Hope that I have inspired someone and right now some comments would sure cheer me up!! So til next time.....
Jessie
Liked many people
Had 1 (yes 1) relationship ( and it lasted all of a week and a half)
Missed the ones that I grew up with
Cried Several times
Been called a stalker
Gotten addicted to Myspace
But as I say some of the big things that have happened in the past year. The thing that is on my mind is something that has happened within the last month. See I had fallen for another guy. I apparently do this quite often and quite hard. And as of yesterday he has a girlfriend. This really shocked me. See I thought that I might actually have a chance with this guy. The main reason behind my thinking was that he was older than me. So I thought that this was my chance to really have a good relationship. See I have only had 2 real relationships in my life and only one kiss, but that is besides the point. The point is that with both relationships I was the older person. This doesnt really bother me but when I found this new guy, lets call him KS I was happy at the thought of maybe having a relationship with him. I think that I really had deep feelings for him. I thought of him differently than I had other guys that I have liked.
I guess this post is just for me to get some hard feelings out, though that is often the base upon which I write.
I do realize that one day I will hopefuly find my prince charming. This is not quite the thing that I want to think about. Like some of my close friends, I want a person to love me now. Someone that will hold me and be there for me. I have great friends and a great family but its just not the same. For all the girls out there that are 16 and over and havent really had a good relationship yet. Hang in there, we will all get our chance someday. Our peak is NOT in high school. Our peak is later in life, when its much more rewarding. Hope that I have inspired someone and right now some comments would sure cheer me up!! So til next time.....
Jessie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)