I love the game- basketball
I will try to befriend anyone who plays.
Sure I might develop a crush on a player, but that doesnt mean that I am not capable of being friends.
I will be there for every game- well as many as possible
I will be a silent cheerleader.
I will respect bus rides
I will respect every player
I wont crash parties
But deep down, I just want to be friends- is that really so hard?
This is my promise: to be the behind-the-scenes girl, the quiet one that you may not notice, but really the one who just wants to be accepted, who wants to be your friend, but is too self-conscious to make the first move, so I will wait patiently. I will smile, wave, maybe try to talk, but I will do my best to not overstep any boundaries.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Season of Thanksgiving
This past Thursday was Thanksgiving, and I was very thankful for the life that I had. Things had started falling into place for me, and it was wonderful.
Then, Saturday, my dad had a heart issue. It was the first one to hospitalize him since 2 weeks before the start of my Freshman year at Transy.
Mom, grandma, and I were near Cincy when we got the call- we had been planning for about a month that they would come to a Transy basketball game, and this was the one. So, there we were in Cincy, and we got the call. And yes, I feel a little guilty- I stayed in Cincy for the game, while mom and grandma traveled home. Over the course of the next couple of hours I questioned my sanity. Why in the world did I pick basketball over my dad? Well, the answer my friends, is that I wouldnt have been able to do anything for my dad, it would have taken 2 hours to get home and then its just a waiting game. And I chose to do my waiting at the basketball game, surrounded by the team and their families. And I know that I am not buddy-buddy with everyone on the team, but some people came through and showed that they cared, and the parents/grandparents also rallied around me and offered me a place to stay, which is way more than I could have asked, but it was greatly appreciated. I am not perfect, and I did "choose" basketball over my dad, but I am at a point in my life, where I know what to expect when dad goes to the hospital- bloodwork, overnight stay, stress test, and other random tests, and dad knows that I love him and that I would drop anything for him but at the same time, I still have a life to live, I still have responsibilities. Basketball isnt just fun for me, its a job. And at the end of the day, dad is ok, for now.
Some of the good things that came out of this experience: I came out of my shell a little bit more because I was reminded that life is short, and even if its good right now, I still have some responsibility for how my life ultimately turns out. But the best thing of the experience was the flight. Mom and grandma took my car home, I rode the bus back to Transy, and a friend picked me up and I stayed with her, but now I was stuck in Lex without any of my clothes, schoolwork or even my room key so I was desperate to find a way home Sunday. One of the clients from the clinic flew from Lou to Lex to pick me up, took my back to Lou and then took me to the hospital. And though the surrounding circumstances werent that great, flying in a small plane from Lex to Lou, was freakin AWESOME. And now, I want to either marry a pilot or get my pilots license!
Today, lets toast to making lemonade out of lemons. Sure, life is always gonna mess up your plans, and sure things may not turn out as well as they did for me this past weekend, but we can still hold our head high, and we can still live life to our fullest- if not for ourselves, for our loved ones.
Then, Saturday, my dad had a heart issue. It was the first one to hospitalize him since 2 weeks before the start of my Freshman year at Transy.
Mom, grandma, and I were near Cincy when we got the call- we had been planning for about a month that they would come to a Transy basketball game, and this was the one. So, there we were in Cincy, and we got the call. And yes, I feel a little guilty- I stayed in Cincy for the game, while mom and grandma traveled home. Over the course of the next couple of hours I questioned my sanity. Why in the world did I pick basketball over my dad? Well, the answer my friends, is that I wouldnt have been able to do anything for my dad, it would have taken 2 hours to get home and then its just a waiting game. And I chose to do my waiting at the basketball game, surrounded by the team and their families. And I know that I am not buddy-buddy with everyone on the team, but some people came through and showed that they cared, and the parents/grandparents also rallied around me and offered me a place to stay, which is way more than I could have asked, but it was greatly appreciated. I am not perfect, and I did "choose" basketball over my dad, but I am at a point in my life, where I know what to expect when dad goes to the hospital- bloodwork, overnight stay, stress test, and other random tests, and dad knows that I love him and that I would drop anything for him but at the same time, I still have a life to live, I still have responsibilities. Basketball isnt just fun for me, its a job. And at the end of the day, dad is ok, for now.
Some of the good things that came out of this experience: I came out of my shell a little bit more because I was reminded that life is short, and even if its good right now, I still have some responsibility for how my life ultimately turns out. But the best thing of the experience was the flight. Mom and grandma took my car home, I rode the bus back to Transy, and a friend picked me up and I stayed with her, but now I was stuck in Lex without any of my clothes, schoolwork or even my room key so I was desperate to find a way home Sunday. One of the clients from the clinic flew from Lou to Lex to pick me up, took my back to Lou and then took me to the hospital. And though the surrounding circumstances werent that great, flying in a small plane from Lex to Lou, was freakin AWESOME. And now, I want to either marry a pilot or get my pilots license!
Today, lets toast to making lemonade out of lemons. Sure, life is always gonna mess up your plans, and sure things may not turn out as well as they did for me this past weekend, but we can still hold our head high, and we can still live life to our fullest- if not for ourselves, for our loved ones.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Tonights Gonna Be a Good Night
Maybe, although I have the urge to cry my eyes out, and I dont even know why.
Life is great, I am getting everything that I want. I am moving forward, living every day and loving it. So why the sudden sadness?
I think it has to do with loneliness. I mean I dont understand it, but I guess it fits. I need a person to vent to a person who is there, physically and emotionally, no matter what. Someone who is close- see thats my problem. I have a couple of great friends and I absolutely adore my family, but friends arent always there emotionally- and who am I to put my worries on them? And family, unfortunately isnt there physically.
Oh well, its one of those times I realize whats going on, I recognize it, take a deep breath and put it aside, too much is going right for me to stumble here.
Heres to staying on your feet, especially when on the outside things look fine and you are emotionally jumbled like no other.
Life is great, I am getting everything that I want. I am moving forward, living every day and loving it. So why the sudden sadness?
I think it has to do with loneliness. I mean I dont understand it, but I guess it fits. I need a person to vent to a person who is there, physically and emotionally, no matter what. Someone who is close- see thats my problem. I have a couple of great friends and I absolutely adore my family, but friends arent always there emotionally- and who am I to put my worries on them? And family, unfortunately isnt there physically.
Oh well, its one of those times I realize whats going on, I recognize it, take a deep breath and put it aside, too much is going right for me to stumble here.
Heres to staying on your feet, especially when on the outside things look fine and you are emotionally jumbled like no other.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The Jessie Stats era is here! :)
Last night I got my first gig at doing books for the Transy men's basketball team. I had a blast, even if the short ref was a little scary!
Coach had told me to be in the gym at 4:30, and then we didnt even leave til roughly 5:30 or a little later. So, we get to Berea and I ask coach what he wants me to do. His response? "I didnt even know you were on the bus!" And he wanted me to do the books, but he didnt HAVE any books, luckily, I did. So I said, "You mean books like this one?" and he said yes. I felt awesome. And then one of the assistant coaches came to check out what I was doing. Asked if the book I had was a book that Transy had, and I said "No, I just happened to have it laying around." He laughed, and told me congrats on being more prepared for the game than they were. It felt great. And keeping the books is MUCH easier than keeping stats, how did I not realize this before?!
On another note. I think the Saint is scared or creeped out by me. Which saddens me greatly. I dont mean to be creepy. So now I have to find a way to descare him. And no, its not going to be an elaborate scheme. In fact, its going to be more of a lack of interest. Yes, I would like to ride the same bus as him, but really, I just want to ride the bus of players that actually occasionally talk to me- even if its not often. And he hangs out with the 2 that do. So, sorry bout your luck, but I do plan on riding the same bus, I wont sit next to you unless its the last seat though. Sorry pal.
Heres to doing scorebooks at away games but being able to enjoy the home games!
Coach had told me to be in the gym at 4:30, and then we didnt even leave til roughly 5:30 or a little later. So, we get to Berea and I ask coach what he wants me to do. His response? "I didnt even know you were on the bus!" And he wanted me to do the books, but he didnt HAVE any books, luckily, I did. So I said, "You mean books like this one?" and he said yes. I felt awesome. And then one of the assistant coaches came to check out what I was doing. Asked if the book I had was a book that Transy had, and I said "No, I just happened to have it laying around." He laughed, and told me congrats on being more prepared for the game than they were. It felt great. And keeping the books is MUCH easier than keeping stats, how did I not realize this before?!
On another note. I think the Saint is scared or creeped out by me. Which saddens me greatly. I dont mean to be creepy. So now I have to find a way to descare him. And no, its not going to be an elaborate scheme. In fact, its going to be more of a lack of interest. Yes, I would like to ride the same bus as him, but really, I just want to ride the bus of players that actually occasionally talk to me- even if its not often. And he hangs out with the 2 that do. So, sorry bout your luck, but I do plan on riding the same bus, I wont sit next to you unless its the last seat though. Sorry pal.
Heres to doing scorebooks at away games but being able to enjoy the home games!
Monday, November 16, 2009
The Drive Home
I thought about him today, while driving home. No, not The Saint, and No, not the Angel- shoot I havent thought about him in ages. No, not Dylan. But James.
Yes, James, and No, it wasnt upsetting in the slightest.
I compartimentalize so well sometimes that I just need to let myself let go. Not in the he's out of my life way but the, I'm gonna let my thoughts go where they want to go and not be upset when they turn to James. And turn to him they did.
Its interesting looking back on the time that I was falling for him. I was ready to take a leap of faith, I was ready to try my hand at this whole relationship thing, but he was planning on moving, so we would have only had 2-3 months. I was ready, he was holding back. Which is fine, and you know even the best laid plans dont always work, he didnt move, hes still just 20 minutes down the road from Lex, but he does have a girlfriend now, and we do still talk. Mostly I make fun of him, or I am slightly snotty, but its not that I wish him ill will, not at all, its that if I dont poke fun at things, I dont know where my mind might go- you know the "Oh, hes talking to me, wheeeeeee" type of thing. I cant do that, I dont want to do that.
And if I've said something once, I've said it a thousand times: I am really, honest to goodness, truly happy right now. My life couldnt get much better.
And the best part about being able to let myself think of James, is that I dont dwell on the angst, I dont care about the times that I was wringing my hands trying to figure him out, but I do focus on the fun times that we had. And that my friends, I think, shows that, though it wasnt perfect, it was meant to be, and its good, and it was a growing experience.
So heres to moving on, but being able look back at the good times.
Yes, James, and No, it wasnt upsetting in the slightest.
I compartimentalize so well sometimes that I just need to let myself let go. Not in the he's out of my life way but the, I'm gonna let my thoughts go where they want to go and not be upset when they turn to James. And turn to him they did.
Its interesting looking back on the time that I was falling for him. I was ready to take a leap of faith, I was ready to try my hand at this whole relationship thing, but he was planning on moving, so we would have only had 2-3 months. I was ready, he was holding back. Which is fine, and you know even the best laid plans dont always work, he didnt move, hes still just 20 minutes down the road from Lex, but he does have a girlfriend now, and we do still talk. Mostly I make fun of him, or I am slightly snotty, but its not that I wish him ill will, not at all, its that if I dont poke fun at things, I dont know where my mind might go- you know the "Oh, hes talking to me, wheeeeeee" type of thing. I cant do that, I dont want to do that.
And if I've said something once, I've said it a thousand times: I am really, honest to goodness, truly happy right now. My life couldnt get much better.
And the best part about being able to let myself think of James, is that I dont dwell on the angst, I dont care about the times that I was wringing my hands trying to figure him out, but I do focus on the fun times that we had. And that my friends, I think, shows that, though it wasnt perfect, it was meant to be, and its good, and it was a growing experience.
So heres to moving on, but being able look back at the good times.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Fan Girl
Sometimes I feel like a fan girl when it comes to basketball. Yes, I am helping with Transy's team, which is SUPER exciting. And yesterday we played some local guys, coached by Kyle Macy with players like Bobby Perry and Lukasz Orbzut, and I was kind of super excited. BUT I was a good girl and didnt go all fan girl in their face, I mean I bet there is nothing worse than going fan girl in the face of players when said fangirl is also stats girl.
So, here's to keeping the fan girl inside of me, and not going all crazy when I meet some awesome basketball players! Oh, and this doesnt just go for the pro team, or for UK players (on the off chance that that happens) this goes for the Transy players that I am around every day.
Needless to say, I love these guys! (And somehow I dont think they know what has hit them yet) Yes, I am the stats girl, but I am also the number 1 cheerleader, the behind the scenes girl, and I cannot WAIT to see what the season brings!
So, here's to keeping the fan girl inside of me, and not going all crazy when I meet some awesome basketball players! Oh, and this doesnt just go for the pro team, or for UK players (on the off chance that that happens) this goes for the Transy players that I am around every day.
Needless to say, I love these guys! (And somehow I dont think they know what has hit them yet) Yes, I am the stats girl, but I am also the number 1 cheerleader, the behind the scenes girl, and I cannot WAIT to see what the season brings!
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Loving Life
So I see pictures on facebook and I sigh. Part of me wants to be part of that world, you know, like how The Little Mermaid feels, but at the same time I like the person that I am. I am not a party person, and I am not a part of that world. The guys see me and they say hi to me but that is about it, I don’t know why but our relationships just aren’t that deep and yes, it sounds funny, but I like these guys and not like I want to be with them, but rather I want to be their friend. I honestly think of myself as their biggest fan. I mean seriously who else- who doesn’t have a personal agenda- would go to so many games. Now, I am not saying that I don’t have a personal agenda, but I am not a girlfriend, I am not looking to get in bed with them and I am not a family member. In fact, I just want to be their friend. No one has too many friends right?
I know that before I have talked about these boys a lot and about a specific boy more often, but I have changed my lease on life. I have changed my outlook, with the help of a friend. I decided that I could focus my energy on being friends with him instead of focusing on how he notices me and when he notices me. So, I changed the rules of the game and already I have less butterflies- its great. I hope that I can keep this going.
In other news, I feel like I am growing as a person, and I kind of love it. I don’t think my life could get much better. I am doing ok in my classes, I am enjoying my classes. I am participating in basketball season in a way that I never have before and I love that, I cannot be more excited about this opportunity- I only hope that I don’t get fired from this job! I have a great family and I am thankful for my life- period. I need nothing more in my life. I feel as if my life is complete, for the first time ever. And I absolutely love it.
I am looking forward to the next step- graduate school. And to find success in this endeavor I need to keep focusing on the schoolwork that I have now, as well as studying for the GMAT test. I think I am going to ask my mom and grandma to help me study over Christmas break- if I can.
Here’s to changing the rules of the game in order to love the life you live and live the life you love!
I know that before I have talked about these boys a lot and about a specific boy more often, but I have changed my lease on life. I have changed my outlook, with the help of a friend. I decided that I could focus my energy on being friends with him instead of focusing on how he notices me and when he notices me. So, I changed the rules of the game and already I have less butterflies- its great. I hope that I can keep this going.
In other news, I feel like I am growing as a person, and I kind of love it. I don’t think my life could get much better. I am doing ok in my classes, I am enjoying my classes. I am participating in basketball season in a way that I never have before and I love that, I cannot be more excited about this opportunity- I only hope that I don’t get fired from this job! I have a great family and I am thankful for my life- period. I need nothing more in my life. I feel as if my life is complete, for the first time ever. And I absolutely love it.
I am looking forward to the next step- graduate school. And to find success in this endeavor I need to keep focusing on the schoolwork that I have now, as well as studying for the GMAT test. I think I am going to ask my mom and grandma to help me study over Christmas break- if I can.
Here’s to changing the rules of the game in order to love the life you live and live the life you love!
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