Thats a lyric in one of Luke Bryan's songs on his new CD and has nothing to do with what I am going to write about today, but it makes me giggle.
Here I am, 90 before my first real interview, and while I have been ready for a job all summer, I am terrified of actually getting the job. Its not that I dont think I can do the work, I think I will make some mistakes along the way, but I have no doubt that I can do the work. No, its the oh my god, I am growing up and becoming a true adult, phenomenon.
An accounting position is something that is completely foreign to me and more than anything I think thats what scares me.
So... eeek! oh my god, I may be getting a job.
But on the other hand, if I dont get this one... eeek oh my god, I dont have a job yet!
Its kind of a lose lose situation, but Im gonna do my best...conquer my fears!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Some days...
Some days are better. Some days my smile shines brighter, I stand up straighter, and I dont give a second thought to anything else in the world.
Some days I am very thankful for every last one of my blessings, and others I cant help but wish for the things that I dont have.
Today is not one of my better days.
Its not a bad day, but I guess I'm just missing some people who I want to be in my life more.
Groan, grumble, grrr.
So, I suppose, here's to J- dont know if you still read this, but today I'm missing you, and May 26th.
And to I- who I am pretty sure doesnt read this (except for my blogging about Hawaii, WAY back Summer of 06- I think), nor do I think he's aware that I miss him- see hes the one that lives 500-6000 miles away from me on any given day. This week, month its in the 500 mile range. We talked last week, and now I'm trying to figure out how to see him in the near future.
Some days I am very thankful for every last one of my blessings, and others I cant help but wish for the things that I dont have.
Today is not one of my better days.
Its not a bad day, but I guess I'm just missing some people who I want to be in my life more.
Groan, grumble, grrr.
So, I suppose, here's to J- dont know if you still read this, but today I'm missing you, and May 26th.
And to I- who I am pretty sure doesnt read this (except for my blogging about Hawaii, WAY back Summer of 06- I think), nor do I think he's aware that I miss him- see hes the one that lives 500-6000 miles away from me on any given day. This week, month its in the 500 mile range. We talked last week, and now I'm trying to figure out how to see him in the near future.
Promises and Family
Last night while driving to and from the Lake to spend time with my extended family, and specifically my cousin and his family who is visiting from Georgia my grandma promised me all kinds of goodies.
Grandma is moving into a retirement community in 2 years-ish. (They havent started building the community, but they have already sold all their units and expect move in to be in 2 years.) And god love her, she is starting to plan for every little thing now.
Thus last night I was asked: "Do you think you might want my condo in 2 years?" Yep, thats right, grandma is potentially giving me her condo. But, of course it really depends on where I am at in life in 2 years. So then we were talking about all of her other possessions- and let me tell you she has some pretty cool possessions from living all over the world. And while lots of things have great meaning to her, there are some of those possessions that have great meanings to me such as: her dining room table, and chairs; the Zanzibar chest; the doll with the red hat box of clothing. Then came the promises of things that dont mean much to me, but are incredibly sentimental to her, and thus would be an honor to be given such as: the portraits by Jane Peterson the Indian baskets and Grandma's silver.
While all that gifting was exciting and wonderful, it was only the cherry on top of a great day with my extended family. My cousin, his wife and their two girls are in the state for the week and they invited us all down to the house they are renting on the lake.
Let me give you a bit of family history: I am the youngest cousin of the family, and there are a total of 7 of us. The eldest cousin (M) is 42, he has 2 sons, one that is 1 year older than me who also has a son who is almost 4. His brother (B) is the one that lives in GA, hes 39-ish? and has 2 daugters, who are almost 4 and 18 months-ish, his wife is Colombian and super awesome. Then you have my only female cousin, K and her brother S, who are kind of nonentities in my life. K has lived in Florida for the last 10+ years and has only been back once to visit. And S well, during most of my childhood he was "living out of town" aka: in jail. But I dont know where and I dont really know for what. He doesnt really partake in many family events, and hes a bit creepy. K and S are both in their mid to late 30's. That brings us to my brothers who are in their early thirties with 2 kids each. And finally, you've got me, in my early 20's.
So when it comes to family get together's I feel super awkward, because 1. I dont have a significant other 2. there's no one else my age and 3. I dont have any kids. Thus, my recent solution has been to hang out with the kids, as much as possible. Therefore, since my B's kids are around the same ages as my nieces and nephews its like I have 2 extra nieces, which I absolutely LOVE.
Today I leave you with a toast to family, promises and finding a little bit of joy each day. :)
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Acting the part
Fascinating, terrifying, completely debilitating.
Those are the words that I have chosen to describe what happened to me today.
But I didnt have the time or the ability to react at the moment of the event.
Here, perhaps you would like to be clued in as to what I am talking about.
Today, I was holding a cat- which seemed to be nice, for my mom so that she could anesthetize a cat for a routine surgery.
The cat freaked, I mean F-R-E-A-K-E-D.
I can usually handle cats, even cats that explode... Once I have a good hold on a cat, they arent going anywhere.
But instead of exploding out and away from us, this cat did its very best to explode in and turned its full attention to us.
In other words, this cat twisted and turned and did its very best to bite the hell out of my hand. It didnt succeed.
But it got closer than any cat has before.
It scared the hell out of me.
Funny, right? I'm a vets daughter, I know the ins and outs of the veterinary world. I can do just about anything, but I am completely and wholeheartedly scared of questionable animals.
Thats right- I am generally scared- ok so maybe thats a bit harsh- I am very wary of animals that I dont know. I dont blindly reach my hand into a cage and I sometimes completely refuse to deal with mean dogs.
I am a failure.
What kind of person- I cant even define myself- cant hack one of the biggest job risks in my current business?
Any time I have a close call with getting bit or hurt, I cry.
Yep, that happened to me today.
I never let go of that cat, the cat didnt bite me, but once we stopped struggling with the cat- though I was still holding it- I lost it, started crying right then and there, thank goodness I work with my mom?
Sigh.
I know I'm not really a failure- in fact I've never been bit by an animal- or rather bit hard enough to break the skin- while working.
And the only time I've ever been seriously bit by an animal- it was my mom's friend's German Shepherd, Emily and I was about 3 or 4, maybe 5 years old.
Yet, its days like these and I feel like a failure.
Maybe its a good thing I didnt go to vet school, and instead found accounting.
Those are the words that I have chosen to describe what happened to me today.
But I didnt have the time or the ability to react at the moment of the event.
Here, perhaps you would like to be clued in as to what I am talking about.
Today, I was holding a cat- which seemed to be nice, for my mom so that she could anesthetize a cat for a routine surgery.
The cat freaked, I mean F-R-E-A-K-E-D.
I can usually handle cats, even cats that explode... Once I have a good hold on a cat, they arent going anywhere.
But instead of exploding out and away from us, this cat did its very best to explode in and turned its full attention to us.
In other words, this cat twisted and turned and did its very best to bite the hell out of my hand. It didnt succeed.
But it got closer than any cat has before.
It scared the hell out of me.
Funny, right? I'm a vets daughter, I know the ins and outs of the veterinary world. I can do just about anything, but I am completely and wholeheartedly scared of questionable animals.
Thats right- I am generally scared- ok so maybe thats a bit harsh- I am very wary of animals that I dont know. I dont blindly reach my hand into a cage and I sometimes completely refuse to deal with mean dogs.
I am a failure.
What kind of person- I cant even define myself- cant hack one of the biggest job risks in my current business?
Any time I have a close call with getting bit or hurt, I cry.
Yep, that happened to me today.
I never let go of that cat, the cat didnt bite me, but once we stopped struggling with the cat- though I was still holding it- I lost it, started crying right then and there, thank goodness I work with my mom?
Sigh.
I know I'm not really a failure- in fact I've never been bit by an animal- or rather bit hard enough to break the skin- while working.
And the only time I've ever been seriously bit by an animal- it was my mom's friend's German Shepherd, Emily and I was about 3 or 4, maybe 5 years old.
Yet, its days like these and I feel like a failure.
Maybe its a good thing I didnt go to vet school, and instead found accounting.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
The moment your life changes
Sometimes it takes only one moment to change your life.
Sometimes it takes only 1 experience.
But sometimes its more.
For me, its a culmination of little moments with the little people in my life.
My nieces and nephews have changed my world. Turned it upside down and danced on it.
Its funny, because people sometimes expect that when you spend time with a kid then the ache to have your own will disappear. Well, not true for me.
Tonight, I was at the UK Pros vs. Dominican Republic game at the Yum! Center in Louisville and while it was special to share it with my mom and dad, my brothers and my sister-in-law... it was more special to share it with my nephews, who once the game started, climbed into my lap and watched the game with me.
T, while he enjoyed the game, really looked to me and watched what I did and asked me questions etc.
J, man, he was in the game "they need to use the backboard more" "it should be a 2 on 2 game with Wall and Rondo against 2 players from the other team", this kid has some basketball knowledge, but he also asked me questions, and it was just a lot of fun to share those moments with those kids.
Long story short, tonight was just one of the moments that gives me warm-fuzzies. One of the others is when my niece told me that she thought I was beautiful. Going horseback riding with my nephew. Giving my nieces the "college experience", and having my nieces and nephews at Transy basketball games.
Needless to say, I really look forward to having my own children, but as long as I have these four kids to share special moments with, I think I can hold off on having my own- until its a more appropriate time.
Here's to the little moments in life that mean something much bigger! :)
Sometimes it takes only 1 experience.
But sometimes its more.
For me, its a culmination of little moments with the little people in my life.
My nieces and nephews have changed my world. Turned it upside down and danced on it.
Its funny, because people sometimes expect that when you spend time with a kid then the ache to have your own will disappear. Well, not true for me.
Tonight, I was at the UK Pros vs. Dominican Republic game at the Yum! Center in Louisville and while it was special to share it with my mom and dad, my brothers and my sister-in-law... it was more special to share it with my nephews, who once the game started, climbed into my lap and watched the game with me.
T, while he enjoyed the game, really looked to me and watched what I did and asked me questions etc.
J, man, he was in the game "they need to use the backboard more" "it should be a 2 on 2 game with Wall and Rondo against 2 players from the other team", this kid has some basketball knowledge, but he also asked me questions, and it was just a lot of fun to share those moments with those kids.
Long story short, tonight was just one of the moments that gives me warm-fuzzies. One of the others is when my niece told me that she thought I was beautiful. Going horseback riding with my nephew. Giving my nieces the "college experience", and having my nieces and nephews at Transy basketball games.
Needless to say, I really look forward to having my own children, but as long as I have these four kids to share special moments with, I think I can hold off on having my own- until its a more appropriate time.
Here's to the little moments in life that mean something much bigger! :)
Monday, August 15, 2011
What dreams may come
I stole that from a Robin Williams movie...
So, I dont know what will come. But I do know that there has been one person that I can turn to for pretty much anything, anytime. He is my rock, in many ways, though our face-to-face contact has been super limited- because we are at any given moment likely to be somewhere between 500 and 6000 miles apart.
Talk about long distance. But we arent in a relationship, nor do I know if he would even consider one.
I do know, however that while I have thought about it before- as in 4 years ago, most specifically... I have grown and changed since then. We both have, yet, we havent grown apart. Talking to him leaves me feeling like a little girl, excited for tomorrow. He always makes me feel better about myself, and while I like talking about him, he always asks about how I am, and listens to me.
In fact, yesterday he asked how I was doing, I said something like good, but not exactly happy. Then asked how he was doing. And he replied with "wait, you just threw a grenade into a boat and asked me to ignore it," which made me laugh.
That's what he does, he makes me laugh- all the time.
Anyway, I dont know what may come, but I do know what would make me happy.
Thats right- I know what would make me happy, I just dont know exactly how to get that happiness. Haha.
So, friends, here's to finding and getting your happiness! :)
So, I dont know what will come. But I do know that there has been one person that I can turn to for pretty much anything, anytime. He is my rock, in many ways, though our face-to-face contact has been super limited- because we are at any given moment likely to be somewhere between 500 and 6000 miles apart.
Talk about long distance. But we arent in a relationship, nor do I know if he would even consider one.
I do know, however that while I have thought about it before- as in 4 years ago, most specifically... I have grown and changed since then. We both have, yet, we havent grown apart. Talking to him leaves me feeling like a little girl, excited for tomorrow. He always makes me feel better about myself, and while I like talking about him, he always asks about how I am, and listens to me.
In fact, yesterday he asked how I was doing, I said something like good, but not exactly happy. Then asked how he was doing. And he replied with "wait, you just threw a grenade into a boat and asked me to ignore it," which made me laugh.
That's what he does, he makes me laugh- all the time.
Anyway, I dont know what may come, but I do know what would make me happy.
Thats right- I know what would make me happy, I just dont know exactly how to get that happiness. Haha.
So, friends, here's to finding and getting your happiness! :)
Sunday, August 14, 2011
I should be studying... but.... I'm not.
There are some people who come into your life make a splash and then when the splash is gone, so are they.
There are some people that when they come in your life, they are there for the long haul- and one such person is who this blog is about today.
We met April 2004. My family visited theirs, and we became fast friends, not unlike our mothers before us.
Then they visited us in August, that same year. And we bonded while fishing. haha. Literally, we would spend hours down at the pond- just talking, and well, fishing. We made a pact then, not to go more than 5 years without seeing one another.But life started to happen. We would talk here and there, on the phone, it was wonderful. But then, he moved to Israel. So much for phone calls. But low and behold we were going to Washington D.C. again, Summer 2007. And they were home from Israel for some Home Leave. That visit was amusing- the first day we got lost in the woods. Then, we hung out. And we saw a Harry Potter movie. But alas, we had to come home, and they went back to Israel. Thats not where this story ends though. No, my mom, grandma, and myself went to Israel, March 2008 and visited them. The highlights of that visit were hot dogs- that I wouldnt eat, and snails. Haha.
This person, has never let me down. Sometimes they dont follow through- but I understand that making promises from 4 states away can cause problems. But whenever I talk to him, I always feel happier. No matter what is going on.
A. tells me that he wants me to be happy, and that this person makes me happy and I should go for it.
Oh, I dont think I can go for it just yet. But I do know, this isnt the end of our movie. :)
There are some people that when they come in your life, they are there for the long haul- and one such person is who this blog is about today.
We met April 2004. My family visited theirs, and we became fast friends, not unlike our mothers before us.
Then they visited us in August, that same year. And we bonded while fishing. haha. Literally, we would spend hours down at the pond- just talking, and well, fishing. We made a pact then, not to go more than 5 years without seeing one another.But life started to happen. We would talk here and there, on the phone, it was wonderful. But then, he moved to Israel. So much for phone calls. But low and behold we were going to Washington D.C. again, Summer 2007. And they were home from Israel for some Home Leave. That visit was amusing- the first day we got lost in the woods. Then, we hung out. And we saw a Harry Potter movie. But alas, we had to come home, and they went back to Israel. Thats not where this story ends though. No, my mom, grandma, and myself went to Israel, March 2008 and visited them. The highlights of that visit were hot dogs- that I wouldnt eat, and snails. Haha.
This person, has never let me down. Sometimes they dont follow through- but I understand that making promises from 4 states away can cause problems. But whenever I talk to him, I always feel happier. No matter what is going on.
A. tells me that he wants me to be happy, and that this person makes me happy and I should go for it.
Oh, I dont think I can go for it just yet. But I do know, this isnt the end of our movie. :)
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Country Girl (Shake it for me)
Luke Bryan's newest single.
This song, it makes me smile. It makes me giggle, and it makes me dance. No matter where I am, no matter what I am doing. This song brightens my day.
Otherwise, I am still living in a calm. I should probably be more panicked about my test that is 2 weeks from today. And I keep telling myself that I will read one chapter or two a day, and I havent read one. Perhaps tomorrow I will get back on track. I have, however been doing homework.
I've been making one big-kid phone call a day. Yesterday's sucked. Today's was much better. And I dont have high hopes for tomorrow, but perhaps I will be pleasantly surprised.
In other news, talked to J today. He got a new job! Congrats to him. :)
As for a "how did talking to him make me feel" introspective look on things: It was nice to hear from him. I wish him all the best. And I think this time I have finally figured out how to approach things. Or rather not.
Somewhere I heard something or read something or whatever- nope definitely heard it, it was on a tv show. One character told another one who was obsessing about something or someone to just let it be.
Hmm.. remind you of anything? Yea, me too... cant get that dang Beatles song out of my head now.
(That one was for you SEP)
Anyway, I decided that with J the best thing was to let it be. And things have been much different, but not in a good or bad way... they simply are. We are still friends, and we will share big news with one another - I think, I hope, but that seems to be about it.
So for all you loyal readers out there, all 3, that Im aware of, although by now that number could be either 2 or 4... but anyway...
My advice to you: Let it be.
This song, it makes me smile. It makes me giggle, and it makes me dance. No matter where I am, no matter what I am doing. This song brightens my day.
Otherwise, I am still living in a calm. I should probably be more panicked about my test that is 2 weeks from today. And I keep telling myself that I will read one chapter or two a day, and I havent read one. Perhaps tomorrow I will get back on track. I have, however been doing homework.
I've been making one big-kid phone call a day. Yesterday's sucked. Today's was much better. And I dont have high hopes for tomorrow, but perhaps I will be pleasantly surprised.
In other news, talked to J today. He got a new job! Congrats to him. :)
As for a "how did talking to him make me feel" introspective look on things: It was nice to hear from him. I wish him all the best. And I think this time I have finally figured out how to approach things. Or rather not.
Somewhere I heard something or read something or whatever- nope definitely heard it, it was on a tv show. One character told another one who was obsessing about something or someone to just let it be.
Hmm.. remind you of anything? Yea, me too... cant get that dang Beatles song out of my head now.
(That one was for you SEP)
Anyway, I decided that with J the best thing was to let it be. And things have been much different, but not in a good or bad way... they simply are. We are still friends, and we will share big news with one another - I think, I hope, but that seems to be about it.
So for all you loyal readers out there, all 3, that Im aware of, although by now that number could be either 2 or 4... but anyway...
My advice to you: Let it be.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Dont rain on my parade
Some days I feel like I have everything in the world figured out. Then, I look around.
I realized today that while I am living at home presently, I'm not really at home. I havent made commitments to anything, really, more than 1 month away. I have literally been living here temporarily, and that has been my attitude towards it.
Wow, I should really have the opposite attitude.
Who knew that I would have a hard time with commitment.
I need to commit, seriously commit to being here, home, or the surrounding area for the foreseeable future.
Thats not committing to living at home with my parents for the next 5 years. Thats not keeping from having a life. No, thats just being realistic.
Time to do this, take the world by storm and grab life by the horns.
So, Smith and Company didnt pan out. Time to work on GE, Roth and Co, and even Stiles, Carter and Assoc.
That means making phone calls, sucking up the courage and getting things done. Its time, my friends to put my stubborn streak to good use.
Also, its time to seriously study for the CPA exam. 14 days away, and I'm almost so panicky that I cant look at the info... not a good place to be.
Tonight though, I wish you all luck as you work to find your passions.
I realized today that while I am living at home presently, I'm not really at home. I havent made commitments to anything, really, more than 1 month away. I have literally been living here temporarily, and that has been my attitude towards it.
Wow, I should really have the opposite attitude.
Who knew that I would have a hard time with commitment.
I need to commit, seriously commit to being here, home, or the surrounding area for the foreseeable future.
Thats not committing to living at home with my parents for the next 5 years. Thats not keeping from having a life. No, thats just being realistic.
Time to do this, take the world by storm and grab life by the horns.
So, Smith and Company didnt pan out. Time to work on GE, Roth and Co, and even Stiles, Carter and Assoc.
That means making phone calls, sucking up the courage and getting things done. Its time, my friends to put my stubborn streak to good use.
Also, its time to seriously study for the CPA exam. 14 days away, and I'm almost so panicky that I cant look at the info... not a good place to be.
Tonight though, I wish you all luck as you work to find your passions.
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
Sometimes you just gotta let it be
Last week was stressful.
Hell, I have been nothing but stressed for the whole summer: boy, job, CPA class, family matters, job, boy, job, job, damn it I want a job!
But today as I was driving into work- yes I have a job, but its my end goal, its just my current and backup, so to speak- and I had this overwhelming sense of calm.
No, life isnt perfect, but really, if it was perfect what would keep me from giving up?
I may be spinning wheels, but they'll catch eventually (or so my fake-husband tells me).
I dont have a significant other, and though sometimes this saddens me, really, its probably better. I can do things that make sense for me and only me. I dont have to worry about anyone else- well, thats not entirely true, where ever life wants to take me I'm gonna make sure my Payton can come along.
And I am extremely lucky that I dont have any big debts. That my parents WANT me around- I have a friend who has moved back home and her dad is not happy with the arrangement, and makes her feel crappy about that.
I know that my momma may annoy me sometimes- mostly when Im spending way too much time with her, at home AND at work. And I wish that my dad would eat healthier and follow the doctors orders. But really, I am blessed to not only still have both parents around, but to also have them still married to one another.
I want to nurture this calm in my life. Hold on to it, or at least store it in a box to say to myself later in life "Hey, sometimes life is stressful, but remember August of 2011, things were all going in different directions but you felt calm. See everything is gonna be great!"
Anyway, heres to finding calm in your life too! :)
Hell, I have been nothing but stressed for the whole summer: boy, job, CPA class, family matters, job, boy, job, job, damn it I want a job!
But today as I was driving into work- yes I have a job, but its my end goal, its just my current and backup, so to speak- and I had this overwhelming sense of calm.
No, life isnt perfect, but really, if it was perfect what would keep me from giving up?
I may be spinning wheels, but they'll catch eventually (or so my fake-husband tells me).
I dont have a significant other, and though sometimes this saddens me, really, its probably better. I can do things that make sense for me and only me. I dont have to worry about anyone else- well, thats not entirely true, where ever life wants to take me I'm gonna make sure my Payton can come along.
And I am extremely lucky that I dont have any big debts. That my parents WANT me around- I have a friend who has moved back home and her dad is not happy with the arrangement, and makes her feel crappy about that.
I know that my momma may annoy me sometimes- mostly when Im spending way too much time with her, at home AND at work. And I wish that my dad would eat healthier and follow the doctors orders. But really, I am blessed to not only still have both parents around, but to also have them still married to one another.
I want to nurture this calm in my life. Hold on to it, or at least store it in a box to say to myself later in life "Hey, sometimes life is stressful, but remember August of 2011, things were all going in different directions but you felt calm. See everything is gonna be great!"
Anyway, heres to finding calm in your life too! :)
Friday, August 05, 2011
Everyone believes in me, but me.
I'm in my CPA review classes.
I have my notice to schedule for all of the CPA exams.
And I have scheduled my first exam.
Oh crap.
20 days and counting.
Every time I tell someone, they tell me that knowing me, I will do great.
But I dont feel that.
I am terrified.
I dont feel like I am going to have enough time to prepare.
But I know that if I put it off, I will just keep putting it off, so here I go, for better or worse.
One friend told me today that he was jealous that I was graduated.
And thats when it hit me.
I may not feel like I have things together.
In fact I often feel like I'm drowning in this thing called life.
But to the outside world, I might actually appear to have my shit together.
I may not have all the things that I want in life.
I dont have a boyfriend, stable income, a place of my own, a job (that goes with stable income I guess), etc.
But I am moving forward.
I feel like I am sitting on my butt doing nothing.
When in fact, I get myself up every Saturday to study for the 4 CPA exams.
I got my act together and I have paid for and committed to taking all 4 exams before January 27th.
And maybe not having a job right now is a good thing. I couldnt imagine having to work a full time job AND study (props to my friend Lauren, who is doing just that).
Maybe, just maybe this journey of mine that has me wishing for answers is a blessing in disguise.
And perhaps I should work harder at being happier, because happy people are way more fun than I have been recently!
In other news:
I have been missing Italy like CRAZY! I'll need to go back, soon.
And I havent talked to James in a while. I dont know if this is good or bad, but it is what it is, and I hope that he knows that I am still here for him, no matter what.
Have I ever mentioned how much I love getting goodnight texts?
Goodnight friends.
I hope that you are able see that sometimes even our struggles are our blessings.
I have my notice to schedule for all of the CPA exams.
And I have scheduled my first exam.
Oh crap.
20 days and counting.
Every time I tell someone, they tell me that knowing me, I will do great.
But I dont feel that.
I am terrified.
I dont feel like I am going to have enough time to prepare.
But I know that if I put it off, I will just keep putting it off, so here I go, for better or worse.
One friend told me today that he was jealous that I was graduated.
And thats when it hit me.
I may not feel like I have things together.
In fact I often feel like I'm drowning in this thing called life.
But to the outside world, I might actually appear to have my shit together.
I may not have all the things that I want in life.
I dont have a boyfriend, stable income, a place of my own, a job (that goes with stable income I guess), etc.
But I am moving forward.
I feel like I am sitting on my butt doing nothing.
When in fact, I get myself up every Saturday to study for the 4 CPA exams.
I got my act together and I have paid for and committed to taking all 4 exams before January 27th.
And maybe not having a job right now is a good thing. I couldnt imagine having to work a full time job AND study (props to my friend Lauren, who is doing just that).
Maybe, just maybe this journey of mine that has me wishing for answers is a blessing in disguise.
And perhaps I should work harder at being happier, because happy people are way more fun than I have been recently!
In other news:
I have been missing Italy like CRAZY! I'll need to go back, soon.
And I havent talked to James in a while. I dont know if this is good or bad, but it is what it is, and I hope that he knows that I am still here for him, no matter what.
Have I ever mentioned how much I love getting goodnight texts?
Goodnight friends.
I hope that you are able see that sometimes even our struggles are our blessings.
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