My 19th Birthday

here it is my ninteenth birthday
and i dont know whats wrong with me
i sit here at 12:07 in the morning
and i am crying
i cry myself to sleep,
because i cant think of many good things
i wake up the next morning and see all my birthday wishes
i cry again
maybe its because the things that i really want
the things i feel i need in my heart
are things that im not going to get
i wish for them every year
and only once has it come close
its a void that most people can fill
one that i have been ignoring for a while
and i cant ignore it anymore
sure, im loved
by friends who are wonderful
and a family that is always there
but i need something more
someone to really love me
someone who wants to be with me
someone who can hold me
someone to make these tears go away
but im doubtful ill find him today
so i will get up and face the day
i will wear a smile
so that i can hide all this pain
for just a little while