I like my life, I generally like who I am and the people that I stay in touch with but I am missing something. Its something that doesnt always stick out at me, something that I dont generally think about but it is in a way a sense of direction and adventure. I go to college, I enjoy it, for the most part, and I have some amazing friends. But I feel stuck, and its not their fault, but rather mine, I am generally a reserved and shy person, I dont like to be alone and therefore dont venture out into the world, even a world that I am familiar with, unless there is someone with me. I dont necessarily like this quality of myself, I wish that I was able to do things on my own, go out and feel the world for myself. I have an honorary family, really my neighbors and their extended family, that goes places and does things. Yes, I travel, but always with my family. Always a "safe" destination. I want to be able to go hiking on a whim, by myself, without waiting for someone to keep me "safe".
I want to be able to go out in the world, explore things like 4th Stree Live, without having a body there to keep me "safe".
It isnt that I need the people to look over me, but rather that I feel the need to have someone to look after, I yearn for the company.
Having dogs gives me some freedom, while I am home, but when at college, there are so many things that I want to do but dont because I am afraid of being somewhere alone.
My goal is to learn to be more independent.
Step one: go for a walk, by myself for the first time since someone was raped at the local Arboretum.
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