Trying to stay peaceful

I am sitting in the library at Transy. Its not because I want to be here or even because that I feel that I need to be here to get work done. No, today I am in the library to get away from everything else, and mostly so that I don't go and sit in my room and have a pity party for myself. Is it sad that I sit in the library to avoid my own personal pity party? Eh, it really doesnt matter all that much.
After much nagging by my mother, and really needing to go talk to my Econ Professor, I did actually go to his office to talk to him about my past grade. I was first struck by the amount of STUFF- papers, projects, books- that he had in his office, stacked everywhere, it was actually quite comfortable. But thats where the comfort ended. I got a 60 on the last test, which was brought up to a 65 but still, thats a D and I dont like D's. So I asked him what I could do different, his answer? Spend 4 hours a day outside of class rather than the 1-2 that I am already spending. I cried, yes, as my usual when I go see a professor and dont understand why I am pretty much failing. No, I am not failing his class, in fact I have a fairly nice B, but I still feel like a failure. And all I can think was that I would have been just as lost, and confused and had the same feeling of failure had I not gone and seen him, now its just a deeper sense of failure. I still dont really know what went wrong with the last test, but I do know that I get to go back and read all the information all over again and again. I'm just really upset that he couldnt give me any pointers. Oh well, live and learn right? At least he complimented me on my attitiude towards the class as well as my preparedness for class discussion and such. Maybe that will help bump me to a B+, considering I do well on the final.
Besides Econ, I am just ready to get off campus for a while. I need a break from people, and even my room isnt a place for me to hide right now. Oh well, it will come soon enough, for now though, I must get back to the 100+ pages I have to read for cell and molec. Thats my vent for the day.