From this moment on

I leave for Italy today. My first trip abroad without my parents. I will be gone for 2 weeks.
I am suddenly terrified.
Can I do this, can I get through 2 weeks with these people that I dont really know? It's gotta be better than going totally on my own, I guess. Yet, I am still terrified.
On the other hand this is something that I wanted, something that I signed up for, and maybe just maybe it will be wonderful.
One thing I am sure of is that this will be a challenge, but one that can push me out in the world. Maybe this trip will make me feel like less of a mouse and more like a lion.

Its kind of funny, yesterday I was home, my brother had thrown my parents a Surprise wedding anniversary party and it became clear that I would be responsible to take them home. And I felt rushed... I didnt get home til like 5 and I was wanting to be in Lex at 5, ugh! But more than that I felt a minibreakdown coming. And I didnt want to burden my parents with sadness on their happy day. I think I managed to get out of the house without them realizing it, but I realized that I was leaving and boy am I going to miss them. The funny part is that I think that as much as I am hiding my feelings, they are too. Lots of people have been asking me how mom is taking it, and I really dont know, I think she is a little worried and probably has some anxiety. But I got an email from her this morning and realize that there's more than meets the eye. I think my mom is almost as panicked as I am. But we are both putting on a brave front because we dont want to worry the other!

So, here's to a wonderful, amazing time in Italy!