Every once in a while I am hit by what feels like an imaginary baseball bat in the gut. Now, I've been hit by a REAL baseball bat in the gut, so I know what it feels like, and how utterly breathtaking it is- and not in a good way. But baseball bat aside, I get hit, run over with this great feeling of SOMETHING about I, or S or whatever I've referred to him as I think hes had multiple aliases on this blog. And now I'll refer to him as Him- because its part of his name and why the hell not. Anyway, back to this feeling of something- I cant even define the something that I feel. I dont know if its longing or hurt or just wanting to be in contact with him. Maybe its as simple as I miss my friend. In all my OTHER relationships with guys, I generally talk to them again- I mean hell I talk to G almost every day again- which is awesome- but beside the point, sort of.
When it comes to Him I am currently totally lost. I sent letters while he was away- and I got positive feedback, but then maybe I came on too strong? Because it feels like all ties were cut. Here is a friend, a person that I turned to when my life when left right up and down and I had to find out third hand that something awful happened to him- and I dont know more. I know I have crazy moments, but I like to think I'm not over the top - or if I am - that people can rein me in and I can then act like a normal human being!
And right when I was delving into this blog post, G texted me to ask how the Him situation was going. World's greatest friend, there.
Can I just say how lucky I am to have been able to go from friend to more to nothing back to friend? G is amazing.
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