Well today was the first time since hes been home that I have seen or talked to Nathan. And if hes reading this Im sorry for writing about you I know how much that weirds you out but this is something that I want to talk about. I saw him at a cookout that his mom hosted for his cousins birthday. We exchanged pleasantries but that was about it. Im not really sure how I pictured things would go but it was not the way that they did in real life. It was like he ignored me. It was really weird, and kind of sad. I hate to think that we ruined our friendship of many years because I wrote him a great deal of emails and that weirded him out. Well for now I guess things are going to be weird, and its a shame but Im definately not as bold as I would like to be and I have to ber approached by him in order to talk to him about things. He should know that Im over whatever it was that I had, with regards to liking him and Im sorry it cost a fun friendship. Well I guess for now I can just hope that things get better for Christmas. I will try to keep somekind of contact even if he doesnt want to talk to me. Well thats it for now....
Jessie
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