Realizations

So much to say, I dont know where to start. I guess I'll start with my retreat. It started and I was kind of by myself, people flocking to one another after being apart for several months, but these werent the people that got me through the hard things, these were the people who came after. And though I love each one of them, its a distanced love, if that makes sense. These people havent gotten the full Jessie experience! HAHA. Anyway after a while I was folded up into the experience and it didnt matter that these people didnt know everything about me, but that they were accepting me and that was nice. And though during the retreat there was conversation of relationships, I felt good. See usually I feel left out or like a loser when people talk about relationships, but because I am newly happy with my single status I just listened and took everything in!

Then last night/this morning I had a LONG, interesting conversation with some friends. We talked about everything from Michael Phelps, dorm room decor, homework that I was getting a head start on, Viagra, Birth Control, Guardasil, to more personal things like first thing noticed about the opposite sex, death, and virginity (in an odd manner, lol). This conversation made me realize that I have some great friends, even if they seem to be a little protective. And that I wouldnt trade the experiences of the last year, good and bad, for anything in the world.

And this morning when I woke up, I woke up from a dream that left me feeling content. I dont remember what it was about but I know that it was nice and happy. Which led me to realize that these past couple of days have been important to me, my how much I have learned since Thursday! Though I was slowly coming around to the idea that there isnt and wont be a guy in my life for a while- or so I suspect, I am in a good place, and I really do love myself. And I miss the people who have really shown that I am important to them. So I cant wait to go back to Transy!

The last thing I want to talk about at the moment happened while I was shopping with my dad. We were in the checkout line for Kroger and the bagger made the comment that he liked my shirt, (One that says Amsterdam- I kinda had an inside joke at the comment!) and that he and his dad were supposed to go there. This kid just kept talking to me and I was polite and smiled and such, and then I realize that he could be trying to flirt with me- yes I'm bad at the flirting game! haha. So when we left my dad was like so you know that boy? And I said no, he said well you all seemed to be talking a lot so I thought either you knew him or he was flirting with you. See only after the fact do I realize that flirting happened! LOL and usually its my dad that points it out to me! :) And that just makes me laugh. But kind of a take home message I got was to not give up hope- be happy with myself, have a little fun and just let life happen! So thats what I am gonna do! :)