Bittersweet

I last saw him March of 2003, roughly 4 months after he moved. This was a person that I liked and some people even believe that I loved. I liked him for 7 years before he moved and then it took me roughly a year to get over him. A person that I had wrapped my life around, the only reason that people called me a bitch- I was pretty jealous, but then again I had some of my best times hanging out with him and I wouldnt change any of that for the world. Live and learn right? So why is he in my mind now, am I worried about him, are our fates gonna bring us back together? I dont know. And even if we were brought back together he is no longer someone that I would want to be with, this person changed. But I still remember the person that was such a big part of my life. Even if I tended to be jealous of the girls that he liked, we had a great friendship. And to think it all started because of his dog! Spending time at his house- which was so close to my bus stop, playing with Nala, and the puppies. And then Nala was gone but our friendship stuck. It wasnt just me and him, there was Natalie too. She was our glue, I was just to nervous around him and she linked us. Then Natalie left, and you know we still hung out, but then his brother and sister were our glue. But then, on his 14th birthday he came over and hung out with me, for pretty much the whole day. I always felt like part of his family, I even got invited to family events. And for a long time it was hard for me to remember these things, to look at my past and be happy, I was to wrapped up in the memories where you kept telling me that I was just a good friend, like a sister(Which I guess I was). And now all the memories are bittersweet. I may have been young, but I learned, and I remember, and now I can really smile.

This post started because of a dream that I had last night, and I was kind of a blast from the past. It was shocking and I felt like I was a little kid again- not necessarily a good thing, because I was back to being shy and uncomfortable. I have worked too hard to break out of my shell to let this person push me back into it. So for me I have moved on. I will remember this person, with happy and sad thoughts. And now, I can really be bittersweet about the times I thought were insanely tough.

For those who dont know who I am talking about, his name is Tim and he was a person that I revolved many parts of my life around for seven years. And I tended to define parts of myself because of him, like people asking about me I would tell them that I liked a guy for 8 years, I am breaking away from that definition of myself, finally.