Dancing away with my heart

We have now passed the 3 year non-iversary. It was a pretty average day.
Im still thinking of J every day. My thoughts are becoming more happy, we were friend thoughts and becoming less of the heartbroken, sorrowful, I lost this boy out of my life thoughts.
Its funny I gave my new co-workers a quick recap of my and J's dance of not actually becoming more than friends and they were like "maybe hes not out of your life forever". That gave me pause. First I thought "omg what if they are right, what if hes not out of my life, I dont know if I can handle him potentially breaking my heart again." And then, I was like "Ok, what if hes not permanently out of my life, this could be interesting, maybe we really were the right people at the wrong time." And then I went on with my day. Thats the blessing of where I am now, I think about J but mostly its in passing and not really something that I dwell over for hours out of my day.
As for J, hes recently changed jobs, PetSmart now instead of Tractor Supply... and forgive me, but PetSmart is less of a turn on so to speak. I loved that he worked at Tractor Supply, I loved that he drove a Jeep Wrangler, and now neither of those things are true! Yea, so Im kinda shallow, Im human, its allowed! :)
Anyway, he also is recently out of a relationship with a one Ms. Cat. Not kidding Kitty Cat is the ex's name. It makes me giggle a little bit that he doesnt hold relationships very long, and usually hes only with someone when he and I arent on speaking terms. No, I havent contacted him, nor has he contacted me, but now Im kind of prepared for that whole what if hes not out of my life forever idea.
SO universe... I am ready, for whatever my future brings, J or no J.
Also, I think that the fact that I have a job that is slowly starting to completely consume my life makes it easier to live in the moment.
So, J if you read this, still, I hope that you are doing well and that you are happy.