23- Take 2...

I liked 23 soo much, Im gonna do it again. I dont wanna be 24.

I have birthday issues. And I've had lots of hurt feelings over birthday plans.
But I've also realized its something that I need to work on, so Im gonna do that.
What struck me as funny, not funny haha but funny interesting. Was that for my 20's I've spent most of the time that is my birthday by myself. I remember on my 20th birthday, I was kind of left alone and I cried myself to sleep- I think I even wrote a blog about it, but Im not about to go look because if Im right that would just be depressing. When I was 21 I spent the day volunteering for the humane society at Rolex, I spent time in my dorm room all by my lonesome and then I headed home. Granted I did have a few friends come out, but they arrived later. The majority of my day was by myself. Twenty-two- that one I wasnt by myself, except to go to the bathroom. lol. Twenty-three though, I took the day off work and I went shopping by myself. Today, 24- i mean 23-take 2, I spent most of the day by myself, studying.
I usually dont lament about spending so much time by myself. Usually, I have no problem about it, but for some reason, I felt that being by myself on my birthday was kind of sad. Should I be around people that I love and who love me? Sure, and I was for pieces of every one of those birthdays. But its the days when its hard to be by myself that are the most important. Im learning to be happy to spend time with me and that will make things easier in life later. Life isnt all roses. In fact theres only pieces that are roses. Life is hard, it sucks and it will mess you up. But those moments, those moments of perfection, thats what makes it all worthwhile.
So heres to learning to be happy not because its expected or because you feel obligated, but because you actually enjoy your life. I wouldnt trade my life for anything. Even the parts that suck or drive me nuts! :)