My ideal

In avoiding some homework, I turn to my blog- as is my habit.
Its when I should be thinking about things such as anthrax that I decide to think about my legacy- so to speak.
I think of where I'm going and where I've come from.
Its the holiday season and they are always hard because I desperately miss my grandma- she was a feisty woman and she loved all of her progeny so much that I miss her so much during family times. I think of how she got to see all of her grandchildren turn 18. And something that is more special to me specifically- she got to see me go away to college- whether or not she was actually "there" to see it, as in mentally, is not something that I think about- I like to think she was. But I also think of the things shes missing- theres a whole nother (my spell check says nother isnt a word, does that mean its slang?) generation that shes missing, thats missing her. I have 5 nieces and nephews, 2 of which never met her and the others probably barely remember.
But as such, I am her legacy- at least partially. And I think of that randomly. I am at least part of who I am because of her. I make Red Baron single pizzas and the smell takes me back to her babysitting my brothers and myself. I see Barq's root beer and I think of her, she ALWAYS stocked her fridge with the sodas that we liked- Barq's especially. She had Breyer's frozen yogurt- because it was better for you and Breyer's regular yogurt. I can't even tell you the hours that we sat in her living room floor and played card games- yes, even after she turned 80. She was special, so special. And I was her favorite because I was the baby of her baby.
So I think about my legacy - I know its a little strange, I am only 24 years old and I don't have children, but I will leave a legacy. My nieces and nephews at this point are my legacy- at least to a certain extent. I hope that I have touched their world in a way that no one else has. I hope that I have been able to show them something that they wouldn't have learned from their parents. I hope they know how much I love them and how much, in some ways I live to make them proud, sort of? Let me think that through.
I've quit a job where I could have moved up and I decided to go back to school. My nephew gets really sad when I tell him that I may be moving away for 4 years and that breaks my heart, but theres a bigger lesson for him to see: I am leaving the things that I know and love so as to follow a dream.
And my nieces, I want to be a person for them to turn to, no matter what is going on in their lives- thats going to be hard if I'm 4+ hours away, but there are cell phones and I have told them that they can call me for whatever reason- to share anything with me.
I may be chasing a dream but more than that, I am showing my nieces and nephews that dreams CAN change and you CAN chase them even if you thought you were going to do something else with your life. I can only hope that those are the things that they get from me. But on the other hand I know that kids dont always understand the things you are desperate for them to understand- sometimes they find a different message, a better message, and thats ok too. As long as they know that I love them and I will be there for them, all is well in the world.