Delirious

Hey everyone heres a new poem, lately ive been inspired i guess. Life is pretty great. Ill let you all know more as the days go by! So here goes:
Talking to you is amazing
it makes my heart start ablazing
you melt my heart and soul
especially when you call me beautiful
it brightens my day
no matter what you say
you call me your beautiful angel
and it leaves my feelings in a tangle
ive never been called anything like that
it makes me feel warm and fuzzy, like a cat
everything you say makes me smile
so much so that i feel like a child
anytime i think of you i get butterflies
you make me feel like im flying high
i dont care about what you have done
even if you have been shunned
as long as you dont lie to me
we can be together happily
you make me feel delirious
when im around you, my Mr. Mysterious

Ok thats it for now. Til next time....
Jessie

Another Poem

This is a poem that I wrote a while ago but I wanted to share it.
Sadness

Im all dressed in white
though the top is a little tight
ive been sitting here for quite a while
my mouth making a small smile
everybodys crying
and i feel like im flying
i see my mom
but i cant tell whats wrong
i want to ask her
but i cant find the words
look, theres dad
why is he so sad?
i dont understand
was this all planned?
whats wrong with me?
didnt anyone hear my plea?
i couldnt breathe
I was huffin' and puffin'
but no one could see
now im dead, in a coffin
all because i was raped and beaten
now my friends and family are all weeping

A serious subject, I know but its something thats in our world and we shouldnt jsut tun our backs.. Til next time

New Poem

Hey everyone. Here is a poem that I wrote for fun. I was trying to thin of a subject and marriage just came to me. Sad, I know but it kept me busy!! So here it is...

THe Happiest Day of My life?

why is everyone so happy
when i feel so crappy
its supposed to b the happiest day of my life
so why am i not seeing the light
whats wrong with me
why do i want to flee
i think i love him
but why am i so scared
im walking down the aisle now
everyone is smiling
maybe its the right choice
then i hear his voice
and all my fears go away
i know now this is where im going to stay
we say our vows
we're husband and wife now
and forever we will be
until death do us part
whenever that may be
a perfect ending
to a shaky beginning
it took us a while
and it all started with a smile
we were both suffering from broken hearts
but it was a good place to start
we werent looking for a relationship
but we found that and so much more
this man is my life
and when im with him everything else dissolves

Living Life

Its important to live your life. This is something that took me a while to figure out. I have gotten to the point where I'm not hung up on a guy but I am happy. I have known for a long time, thanks to my mom that I dont NEED a guy, I just have always wanted one. Now, it has gotten to the point now where I dont really want a guy. I suppose thats the wrong way to say it, let me explain. I will always WANT a guy but at the moment I am content with life and I am not LOOKING for a guy. Not that I was ever good at looking for them before, but thats a different story. Anyway, life is good. People have to realize that just because you want something to happen doesnt mean that it will. I think that once you come to terms with that, then you are able to live your life. This is the point when life becomes fun! So for all those who have broken hearts and those who havent gotten the chance at a relationship. I consider a real, good relationship more than a month, that may be wrong but for me thats what it is. So til next time, I hope I have inspired some people to live their life...
Jessie

Dont you hate being sick?

Well I have been sick for almost a week now and it really sucks. Right now I'm trying to get some homework done but its just not happening. Also at this very moment people are putting tile in my room. Is it called installing? I dont know but oh well. So Ive heard from my friend in Israel yesterday and today after like 3 months of no communication at all. So I am glad that he has finally checked his email. I bought a new CD playerfor my car thats exciting. Really, and I am going to have a friend install it tomorrow. Well I think im going to go read a book or write a poem. Til next time....
Jessie

Being able to talk

Well first I to thank a friend for being there when I needed to talk. It wasnt a long conversation and I dont know if they got anything out of it but they need to know that it was a talk that I needed to have. So thanks Justin. Ok I guess my life isnt terrible right now but it is kinda weird. I find myself thinking long and hard about a frienship that I have had for a long time. I want to be there for all of my friends but its kinda hard when they arent always there for me and when they are doing stuff that I dont like or things that I dont understand. Man I cant wait for high school and all the drama from it is over. I guess all of this could be because I am sick so I have been sitting around doing nothing in particular.
On a lighter note. I went to Big Blue Midnight Madness on Friday night. It was a lot of fun. Something that I have wanted to do for a while.
Well everyone, it think I'm done venting here, so til next time....
Jessie

Telling the Truth

This is not meant towards anyone in particular but it was just something that I was thinking about today. I wish that people would always tell the truth AND not contridict themselves. Like if you believe in something then you dont need to do something that contridicts what you believe in. The best example I can think of is God people who believe in God and then they go and ave sex with their significant other. Isnt pre-marital sex like against the Bible? See I dont know all my facts because I'm not a religious person but it seems to me that all those people who want to convert me have said that pre-marital sex is against religion in general. So i completely and totally hate it when people who supposedly believe in God and are his devout followers go and do something that they teach is wrong. This isnt just one thing that I have just happened accross, I'm just now venting about it. Another thing that I hate is when people lie. If I ask you a question I want you to answer it honestly. Ok so I think thats it, my rant for the day. Til next time everyone...

Understanding

Well first thing is first. Life at the moment is going ok. My grandma is now home and doing pretty good. They didnt discover anything truly bad except for her eating habits.
Theres just one thing that I really want to touch on today and so here it is...Bear with me.
People keep telling me that I dont understand what they are talking about but what they need to know is that I understand more than they know. I know about commitment and loss and love, boy do i kbow about love. (Another story) I am a pretty easy person get along with but I dont like to be told that I dont understand. So this is me: I am a person with feelings and they get hurt very easily. I love animals and traveling. OK I think Ive gotten my point across.... Now for more fun news.
I got my senior pictures this past weekend and they turned out really good.
umm.... let me think... I dont know that I have any other news at the moment.
Oh wait... I dont know how many of you all out there know this but my senior ring was stolen oh, I think the day after Labor Day so I was looking at my ring policy and turns out you can get a replacement for about 1/3 of what it originally cost me which is kinda expensive but I really liked that ring so I might just have to do that. Ok I think thats it...Til next time....
Jessie

The Perfect Guy

Lately it seems as if I have liked guys that just arent right. I know this is normal but I want it to be out there the type of guy that I really want. And if you are reading this and you are this guy feel free to contact me!

I want a guy who:
is up front with his life and doesnt hide things from me no matter how bad his past is
a guy who will call me every now and then, but not 4 times a day
one who will trust me and one that I can trust
a guy that wants to be with me because of my personality
he has got to make me laugh
I want a guy that likes to travel
one that knows when to back off and when I need to just cry in his arms
and the last thing about my perfect guy.... hes very romantic.... doing stuff for me that is really sweet

For the most part, this is my perfect guy. I know hes out there somewhere, I just hope I find him soon. Well til next time....
Jessie

Pretty Much my best day ever!

So I have been having a wonderful life for well the past couple of weeks. This is exciting!! Ok so the BIGGEST news is that I got accepted to Murray State University. This really makes me happy. It where I reall want to go to college. I guess this post will be short and sweet because that is the only big news that I really have. Other news is just that my life has been going nicely and I have no complaints. I have discovered this school year that I have some really awesome friends and I feel loved again. One of the big things that I have noticed lately, well I've known it for a long time but I am only now noticing it, you don't have to have a boyfriend to have a life. As long as you have good friends, and I have discovered that I do, then your life will be good. Yea, sometimes you WANT a boyfriend, sometimes you want it really bad, but you just have to remember that boyfriends will more than likely come and go more often than good friends. So thats my rambles for the day. Im sending a special shout out to Jesse, Sara, Teia, and Kayla. You all are awesome. I have other awesome friends but these are the ones that have really been there for me lately. Thanks guys. Im outta here.
Jessie

My scary Sunday

Hey everyone, I know I havent written in a while and I know theres about 200 people waiting to see what I'll write next! Just kidding, I dont even know how many people read this thing! There really isnt that much to say. Life hasnt been too extreme recently, yea I have a new person that I kinda sorta might like! But I'm not going to say too much now.... maybe later I will. Since the last time I wrote my family had a scare. For about 10 mintues we thought that my grandma was dead. My dad and I went to visit her one Sunday and she didnt answer her door then she didnt answer her phone, it was all very scary. But my aunt got to my grandmas house and we used her key to get in and we found my grandma. She had fallen and just couldnt get herself back up. And she couldnt reach a telephone. She had been on the floor for like 5 hours. She tried to crawl around to get a phone so that she could call someone but she just couldnt reach the phones in her house. So on that Sunday I got to call 911. Let me tell you its not fun to call 911. The good news is that my grandma is doing good, she is hardheaded and is ready to get back home.
I cant really think of any other news. So I suppose I'm outta here for now!
Jessie

First Day Back

So today was my first day back to school! It was somewhat fun, mostly it was just good to start my senior year. And adding to that I sent my application off to the college that I want to go to yesterday. So I think for now thats all the new things in my life. But so far I like my classes and the people in my classes, for the most part. I have a class with my ex and thats a little awkward but not totally, which is a good thing. I shara locker with a guy that I have liked off and on for 5 years and that is pretty cool. Though for now, since he has a girlfriend, I like him as a friend and I just happen to think that hes just a little bit cute. I mean he is a blonde haired, blue-eyed guy and Im usually a sucker for blue eyes, though not all the time. But all in all today was a pretty good day and I hope the rest of the year will be like today but I know that is wishful thinking.... still it would be nice.... But for now I outta here....
Jessie

A Cookout

Well today was the first time since hes been home that I have seen or talked to Nathan. And if hes reading this Im sorry for writing about you I know how much that weirds you out but this is something that I want to talk about. I saw him at a cookout that his mom hosted for his cousins birthday. We exchanged pleasantries but that was about it. Im not really sure how I pictured things would go but it was not the way that they did in real life. It was like he ignored me. It was really weird, and kind of sad. I hate to think that we ruined our friendship of many years because I wrote him a great deal of emails and that weirded him out. Well for now I guess things are going to be weird, and its a shame but Im definately not as bold as I would like to be and I have to ber approached by him in order to talk to him about things. He should know that Im over whatever it was that I had, with regards to liking him and Im sorry it cost a fun friendship. Well I guess for now I can just hope that things get better for Christmas. I will try to keep somekind of contact even if he doesnt want to talk to me. Well thats it for now....
Jessie

What happened to him?

Well if you know me then you know or know about this person that I liked for oh almost a decade! Yes you know the person, and if you dont then I have only known you for a really short time. Ok enough introductions. The person I am refering to is a boy and his name is Tim. He used to be my neighbor and he moved when I was in 8th grade. December 7, 2002 to be exact. But anyway I havent had much contact with him since, Ive gone to his house 2 times since he moved and he only moved 30 minutes away. The sad thing is that I was friends with his whole family and when they moved and didnt keep really good contact with me and it hurt me a huge amount. So it took awhile but I got over Tim and his family. I searched for a long time for closure and got it only this spring. So what I am here to talk about now is how things dont end up like you think that they would. When I knew/ was friends with Tim, he was a good guy. He was a good role model for the other guys that lived down the road and he had a future and he wasnt a "bad" kid. His mom has gone through a lot and before they moved she had gone back to college to become an accountant. So she had tried to make sure that her kids all had anything that they needed. So when I went for my closure, Tim wasnt there, in fact his things were packed and his sister told me that he was moving out. She also told me that she had heard that from one of her friends at school, not from Tim or his mom. Anyway I still havent really gotten to my point. So I went on myspace tonight and I clicked on my friends, he is one of my "friends". I looked at his page and saw what he had become. I dont think that he plans to go to college, he used to want to be a zoologist. He now drinks and does drugs. But the point is that I look at the person that I used to love, yes thats a big word and it took me a long time to actually realize that I didnt have just a crush. Anyway there is no way that I could love the person that he has become. I guess I am thankful that he didnt like me and that we never were anything more than friends, because if we were I would deny it now. I would deny it for the person he has become. I guess that this happens to a lot of people and that I might just sound goofy but it doesnt really matter because these are just my thoughts and you read them on your own accord. Well til next time.....
Jessie

The LONG ride home

Well yesterday was fun. J/K Yesterday was LONG see we left Hawaii Sat. at 4 am KY time and got home at 10 pm KY time. The plane from Hawaii to LA was delayed 40 minutes because Continental hired Aloha airline people to load the plane and apparently they did it wrong, they loaded luggage and then unloaded it and then loaded it again! Then we got to LA and everything was fine. I even slept on that plane, I was only awake for the brakfast that they served us. By the way there was a cute boy on the plane from Hawaii to LA! He liked golfing, no I didnt ask him, or talk to him but I overheard his conversation with his family. Im so bad! OK back to the travelling! We had a 3 and 1/2 hour layover at Houston and it went pretty well. I met my future husband there! He was a cute pilot!! And I actually talked to him! I said excuse me as I passed him! See I'm getting better, ever so sightly! Anyway then we boarded our plane and sat on the tarmak waiting for the storms to pass for about 2 hours! There were FORTY planes that had to take off before we were able to. So that was a little annoying. At least we didnt have another connection flight to catch. So we finally got home at about 10 last night. But my poor brother had to wait for like 2 hours at the airport for us. He got to the airport at 8 and the computers kept saying that our plane was going to be on time. Then the computer erased our plane entirely! My poor brother had to go ask someone down at the baggage claim what happened to the flight and they said that the computer was sometimes wrong. But the end of the story is that we made it home safely! No more vacation, back to work and now Im totally messed up by jet lag! Well thats it for now... Til next time....
Jessie

The Last Day

Well today is our last day. We leave tonight at 10 pm Hawaii time, 4 am home time. And we actually get home tomorrow 8pm in KY. So we have a long travel ahead of us, but its ok as long as theres is quiet on the plane!
So back to yesterday. Yesterday was a snorkeling/dolphin watching cruise. And though I did not snorkel due to a warning issued by the coast guard about jellyfish, I had a wopnderful time. Yes, there was another cute boy that I crossed paths with and no, like usual I did not talk to him! He might have been a couple of years younger, but he was definately a teenager. I dont know much because I didnt talk to him! Anyway we saw spinner dolphins and bottlenose dolphins. This made me VERY happy. And with both species we saw babies! On our way to the snorkeling place we came accross the spinner dolphins and they cant be found in captivity anywhere in the world and thats because they have such big pods and they are so social that putting a few in captivity would cause them to be very sad and it just wouldnt work out. But we saw this pod and there were at least 50 dolphins. And not only did we see them, they followed us to the snorkel spot. Some people who went snorkeling said that the dolphins swam under them, man, that almost got me in the water. But then the dolphins left and I didnt go into the water. I took over 15 pictures of the spinner dolhins! They get their name because they jump out of the water and spin. The naturalist on the boat was telling us that they blush kind of like people, only their bellies get red instead of their cheeks! So they definately put on a show for us, they spun and spun and spun and even the babies would try their hand at spinning only they were a little more clumsy! Then when everyone was back on the boat after snorkeling we had lunch and the people sitting accross from us at the table we were sitting at were from LA and one of them was a writer for the Dr. Phil show. So that was kind of fun to find out. Then as we were heading back to the harbor we saw the bottlenose dolphins. They have smaller pods because they are bigger dolphins and so we saw about 5 or 6 and a baby. One of them jumped out of the water and it looked as if it had an extra fin but really it was some kind of parasite fish that was attached to the dolphin. So as you can see I had a really good time yesterday and am sad that I have to leave today. But there is one thing that I am really missing from home and that is my Payton, the most wonderful dog in the world! So I cant wait to see her, to bad she isnt vested anymore or she would be able to meet me at the airport. Darn the bad luck! Well I'm going to stop here and I'll write more later, though not from Hawaii. By the way there is a tropical storm headed towards the islands and it looks as if we are leaving right in time! Plus, have I ever told anyone how much I LOVE Hawaiian shave ice? It is the best ever. To bad we dont have it back home. But now im really done. Til next time...
Jessie

The White Submarine

Well today we started out on the beach. We stayed there for about 2 hours. It was fun especially since about an hour after we got there a whole bunch of boys got there. I mean like 10 cute boys all swimming no more than 30 feet away from me. It was exciting. Of course I didnt get any names but I did get like a hour of something fun to look at. Also while at that beach I body surfed for the first time! It was fun until I hit a rock, 3 times! I hurt my thigh, knee and ankle. Another thing... there was algae or something green and it kept getting on my feet and it freaked me out and once when I freaked out I twisted my ankle. It hurt. Then we went to Lahiana again but today not for shopping! We went on a submarine ride today! It was SO fun plus there was a cute guy. The submarine was real and it went down to 133 feet below the top of the bottom the the surface of the water! It was like being in an aquarium but you were in the actual ocean! The cute guy was the kind of M.C. of the trip. His name was A.C. and he had blond hair but I dont know how long it was because it was pulled into his hat, it wasnt real short. He had the most beautiful eyes in the world, especially having the ocean as the background. Man was he cute. Another plus was that he was EXTREMELY funny. He told so many jokes but I am too tired to type all of them! Maybe someday if I can remember all the jokes. He was a little dorky though. Then there was a another cute guy on the submarine, the was the co-captain. There were two not so hot things about him though, his name was Levi. Anyway he had a girlfriend that was riding the sub with our group and he had shaved legs. It was just a little noticable, I'm not saying that its bad or anything but its not something that I see everyday. Well I think thats it for now. Today was definately a hot guy day and that makes me happy! Well Im sorry that there are two posts within like an hour of wach other but the shopping one I wrote this morning and when I went to post it, it got deleted, luckily I sent the post to myself so I didnt have to type it all over again but I did have to wait a while to try to post it again. So anyway I think I'm done for the night. I'll write again tomorrow when we get home from the snorkeling trip. Til next time......

Shopping!

So you that know me probably dont know that I am a true shopaholic! Well usually only when I'm on vacation. See yesterday we went to Lahiana (pronounced la hyena)hoping that we would be able to go on a subamrine tour. The best way to look at those things that live underwater without being able to actually touch them. Yes we get to o in a real submarine for this! But when we got to the pier we found out that they were all booked up for the day, darn. So we made a reservation for today and then we went and made a reservation for a dolphin watching/snorkeling trip fo tomorrow. After that was all done we went shopping. My poor parents! Lahiana is like the BEST place to shop in this island and believe me we have been ALL over the island. So we shopped for 2 1/2- 3 hours! We didnt buy very much, but we looked at a bunch of things. For some reason I find myself wanting a dress and those of you who know me know that I dont wear dresses very much. During and close to the end of our shopping we ate at the Hard Rock Cafe, a first for me! After shopping we went to go looking for a good beach, most of the beaches around here are rocky and they hurt. So close to the cottage where we are staying we found a nice enough beach and started swimming, well my parents started swimming. See there was seaweed chunks or something like seaweed chunks floating on the water and they wrapped around my feet and freaked me out! And my parents said that it was kind of rocky so I never did go all the way in, but I did see several cute boys!!
Also I wanted to share with everyone that I have a TAN!! Ive never had tan lines before and now I have them on my feet.
So as for today we are going to find a good beach and go swimming and then we are going to go on the submarine! And then we are going to come home. See tomorrows snorkeling/dolphin seeing trip starts at 7:30 and we have to be there at 6:45 ehich means we have to leave our cottage at like 5 AM! So we need our rest! But I will post when we get back, but probably not before we go unless I post later today! Well thats it for now, til next time.....
Jessie

Hana Highway

There is this road in Maui that is supposed to be just beautiful. It is called the Hana Highway. It is about 60 miles long and it takes about 2-3 hours to get from the start to the finish. That is what we did yesterday. It was a beautiful road. All the bridges on the Hana Highway were one lane bridges and at some points the road was only one lane so thats part of why it takes so long to drive. That and there are several places to look at beacuse they are just so pretty. But I have got to say that the best thing of the Hana Highway was that there were several cute boys that were being dragged on it by their parents or the adults that were with them. I saw two or three in particular! BUT anyway the road is the whole point of the trip. Once you get to Hana, theres just about nothing. Its pretty sad actually. And because we didnt start out with a full tank of gas we had to get some in Hana and it was, wait for it, $4.29 per gallon for the regular!! Talk about high gas prices and you all think that we are suffering at home, you should live in Hawaii... normal gas prices around here are $3.62 per gallon. Anyway another fun part of yesterday was a black pebble beach. It wasnt quite sand but give it some more time and it will be. There were several warning signs for this beach: Warning, Man Of War: stings han hurt badly; Warning, Jellyfish: stings can hurt badly; Warning, Rough Shore Break; Warning, Strong current. And there was another one but I cant remember it. And for those of you who know me, I am a small chicken! I was scared of going into the water, so scared that I didnt change into my bathing suit. But after watching people and not hearing them scream I decided to go in but I didnt want to change into my bathing suit so I went in with jean shorts and a t-shirt. I have got to admit that it was pretty fun. Thats all we did yesterday, it was our longest day so far, we got home at like 5:30. So til next time.....
Jessie

The Beach

For the first time on this vacation we went to the beach yesterday. It was fun and we got a couple of big waves. I got slammed down on the sand underwater pretty hard but at lest my sinuses got cleaned! Thats pretty much all that we did yesterday. We were home by 2 and spent the rest of the day lollygagging, watching tv and I read 2 books! I just have to start on my required books for my AP english class.. Uggg... I think that today we are going to make the 2 hour, 50 mile trip to Hana. Its supposed to be a beautiful drive. But two hours to go 50 miles?! That probably wont be too terribly fun. Well thats it for now, til next time...
Jessie