So today, while trying NOT to fall asleep in my macroeconomics class I just started writing. And then I found an analogy of the whole boy thing that I am going through. It starts with meeting one another- and that is like catching the eye of someone on the sidewalk that you dont know but you smile and say hi and go on with your life, there are no expectations with that.
Then the week of intense conversation and couple of nights that he came up to Transy- that is like meeting someone on vacation, you want to know everything and anything, and you spend LOTS of time with that person. Or I also thought it would be like walking down a street with someone, holding their hand and then going to a coffee shop for conversation. Either way, its an intense period but at the same time the expecatations still arent totally clear and you are just enjoying spending time with a person.
Next you say something that the other person doesnt like, or something that worries them, and they run into a building and lock it up tight. They put up barriers, maybe unintentionally, but barriers just the same. And I have been standing on the porch of the house (what I imagine the building as), I get little muffled responses to my questions and I dont understand what has happened, and it might very well be raining, but I dont leave, because thats not me. I stick around because I dont understand, I stick around because I care and thats just who I am.
Finally the door is slowly unlocked, and I have to remember not to thrust myself agains the door, because that wont help. I just have to be patient. Maybe the door will open a crack. And I will take what I can get, crack by crack by crack. I think a normal person would walk away from the situation, but I am not normal, and for some reason I cant just let go.
So heres to waiting for the cracks of the door- which means being patient. Im in it for the long haul, you can count on me.
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