I don't even remember if I posted about not being very thankful on Thanksgiving. But I wasn't. In fact, I was a gross human who was simply living. Someone who wasnt thankful for even the roof over her head. I am so ashamed of my Thanksgiving behavior.
And maybe someone or something else was ashamed too. Though, instead of putting me in my place and taking things away from me, I was given a wonderful gift- or 2000.
I got the call this past Monday about a job. Its more of an intern like position, as far as I can tell, but its a foot in the door, experience and a pay check!
This job offer, as well as the offer that I got on Tuesday made me appreciate my life in a way that I had been missing.
It wasn't just me who made myself who I am today, it was the effort and influence of every person that I have ever met. I am incredibly grateful for each and every person that I have met.
Maybe more importantly I have been thinking about the influence that one of my brothers has had in my life. Don't get me wrong, I love both of my brothers very much, its just that one of them moved out when I was 9 and the other when I was 15. And there is a reason that one of them is a bit more influential in my life.
When I was 11 my dad had a heart attack. Something you probably know already. And while my dad's health has never really been the same, neither has the relationship between my brother and I.
While both of my brothers took wonderful care of me when I was a kid, I think it was the heart attack and the various hospital visits after that that really impacted my life. I always felt closer to W growing up, and one of my favorite memories is watching the T-giving Day Parade with him randomly one T-giving as the rest of the house was busy with T-giving preparations. But there we were just chillen in his room, watchin the parade.
I dont have moments like that- sweet moments- with B. In fact, I always thought B was a bit grouchy. Then W moved out and B was still around. B took me random places with him and his girlfriends- I think he used me as a "aww, hes nice to his little sister" but thats ok, because I loved the attention. He even took me to a Shania Twain concert- ST is my FAVORITE artist, and so that was a big deal. And it's looking back on memories from that concert that I realize he was protective and fierce. Great things to have in a big brother- as long as its not TOO much, which, so far, it hasnt been.
Then the heart attack, and while I know W visited, I am also aware that he didn't visit often, and I am pretty sure he wasn't there that first day. B, though, he became my guardian. Mom was sticking with dad a fair amount of the time, and what 11 year old wants to be in the hospital and eating hospital food? No thanks. So B would take me out of the hospital, get me away from that place and spend time with me. I think mostly he fed me and just ran errands but it was better than being in the hospital. And then that became our thing, anytime dad was in the hospital B would be my ride. Even after I had my driver's license and B had moved out, when Dad went to the hospital I drove to B's house and then ride with him to the hospital. Looking back, that was the best thing for our relationship. We had talks during those rides, we talked about things other than dad and going to the hospital. Hopes and dreams.
Which brings me to the whole point of this story.
If there was a moment in my life that I know was a turning point, it was during one of those rides to the hospital. (Granted, I didn't know it was a life altering moment then.) I was a senior in high school, it was a cold rainy icky January night, about 1-2 am. Dad had been taken in via ambulance. I drove to B's house and we were riding into the hospital. We had just passed exit 121 on I-65 and were talking about school. I told him about this really neat looking school called Transylvania and that I thought I might want to go there but the drive to Lexington for the overnight visit worried me. See, we had season tickets for UK bball and at that point in my life I had never made a trip to Lex without falling asleep. I told B that I was worried about driving there because I was scared of falling asleep at the wheel. He laughed at me, and said "Seriously? Come on Jess, just do it." It kind of hurt my feelings at the time, but you know what? I did it. I set up an overnight and the rest is history. I was totally ready to write Transy off because I was scared of the drive, and my brother made me rethink that decision.
The rest is history, right? I've now graduated from Transy and am on my way to a career. I am really glad my brother made fun of me that night, so glad, I am not even gonna think about what would have happened had he not!
Goodnight folks, here's to a special supportive family member, may you all have one- even if its not a blood family member! :)
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