Its not perfect, because life isnt perfect, there are some ragged edges still left to smooth over, but for the most part the tear in my heart from that J person is slowly healing.
Like any wound to the flesh, Ive had to cut off the dead parts and let the good parts come together and heal. Plain and simple: heal.
If you arent someone who prescribes to that form of imagery let me explain.
Its like our relationship was a tv series that was finished at the climax which lead to a cliffhanger. The big kiss and then: will they or wont they. But thats when the show was ripped off the air. There was no resolution, some half promises from network executives and some big blow up in the tabloids but really the poor tv show was done.
I was listening to some Lady Antebellum tonight, which kind of always prompts thoughts of J. And when I was thinking of him, I realized that the force of memories isnt so painful. That while the really great memories are somewhat lost in the cloud that is J, they are there and they will emerge as I need them.
On the other hand.. I love my life situation as it is now... for the most part. I love being able to see my family whenever, I love my job, and the people that I work with, my life, its just starting. I am lucky, so lucky to be where I am today, and I am grateful for all the gifts throughout my life. Having said all this, my biggest hope now is to 1. stay at the firm where I work now and 2. own my own house by my 25th birthday- I've got just more than 2 years.
One last piece of business... for those of you who might read this on a regular basis, this is your only warning that I will likely be going off the social networking grid for a few weeks, who knows I might get a wild hair and limit more than just my social networking. It didnt seem fair to not warn anyone, so this, this is your warning, and if you dont see it, not my problem. Love you all!
I was listening to some Lady Antebellum tonight, which kind of always prompts thoughts of J. And when I was thinking of him, I realized that the force of memories isnt so painful. That while the really great memories are somewhat lost in the cloud that is J, they are there and they will emerge as I need them.
On the other hand.. I love my life situation as it is now... for the most part. I love being able to see my family whenever, I love my job, and the people that I work with, my life, its just starting. I am lucky, so lucky to be where I am today, and I am grateful for all the gifts throughout my life. Having said all this, my biggest hope now is to 1. stay at the firm where I work now and 2. own my own house by my 25th birthday- I've got just more than 2 years.
One last piece of business... for those of you who might read this on a regular basis, this is your only warning that I will likely be going off the social networking grid for a few weeks, who knows I might get a wild hair and limit more than just my social networking. It didnt seem fair to not warn anyone, so this, this is your warning, and if you dont see it, not my problem. Love you all!
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