Where are you Christmas?

I feel like that song, you know the one that Faith Hill sang for How the Grinch Stole Christmas several years ago? It seems as if this years Christmas is being forced, and thats not a good feeling. I dont like it. I just want to spend time with my family, hang out, why do schedules, people, and feelings have to get in the way? Or maybe its just me, maybe I really am growing up and things are changing. Hopefully for the better. I worry about my brothers, but I cant do anything more than just be there for them. And then there are my neices and nephews, my god those kids are the brightest lights in my life! Though its several years off, I cant wait to have my own kids.
And then theres school, finally I have good friends, real friends. I'm not saying that I didnt have real friends before, but I finally found a place for me, where I fit in with being nothing but myself, and do you realize how wonderful that is? People are no longer trying to convert me to Christianity, its kind of wonderful! I get to be me and these are the people that are gonna be in the nursing home with me in 70 years! :)

Beach beds, massages and shopping!

Time for me to play catch up, I have been really bad and neglected the past couple of days. So no I am gonna tell you all everything that has happened.
So, Wednesday- Dad had a tee time to play golf in San Jose at 9 and mom went with him to keep him company. I got the room ALL to myself! At first I just sat around, played on the computer and watched tv, but then I decided that I needed to be productive, so I started taking notes for Macroeconomics, its one of my classes next semester and I am really worried about it so I thought getting a head start might be a good idea. But I got bored taking notes in the room, so I packed everything up, got a Dr. Pepper from the little minimarket that the resort has and went to study on the beach beds. On my way down I passed a cute guy, who I have been eyeing all week, we shall call him Blue Swimmer and he said 'hey' to me, I was so shocked that he actually talked to me that I couldnt even respond, HAHA. Anyway, went to the beach beds to study, then mom and dad got back and we just hung out the rest of the day.
Thursday, mom and I got up and went to a beach where there was good snorkeling, she snorkeled and I people watched/ read my book. It was relaxing except I didnt have anything to lean back on and so my back got sore. Then we went and got our free massages, and it was WONDERFUL. Just plain great. And then we met a nice woman from Arkansas, her and her husband had retired and moved to Mexico and they were almost to the point where they could file for citizenship in Mexico. Anyway she told us some nice stories and such and then we caught the bus and went back to the hotel. Where we ate and just hung out for the rest of the evening.
Friday, we got up, went to Cabo San Lucas again and shopped, shot a nice wad. And then came back to the hotel ate lunch and then went to Cabo San Jose, which is the other town on the tip of the Baja Penninsula. San Jose is a bit more laid back. And we shopped some more, San Jose was a bit cheaper too, nice calm town. I bought a pretty blue dress in Cabo San Lucas and nice little things in San Jose.
Saturday was the day that we were flying out, so mom got up early and went snorkeling one last time, while dad and I slept in. And when mom got back it was about time to go. I dont know if I will ever be able to accurately describe just how much I like flying. Flying for me, is about half the fun of the whole trip, but then again I like driving too, maybe I am just a natural born traveler!
Anyway thats the last few days of Mexico.

Beach beds, Whale watching and Margaritas!

I will start with what we did yesterday and then I will add what we did today.
We started the day by doing yoga. The yoga class that the resort offers was taking place on the lawn below our balcony and we joined in, only we didnt bother going downstairs, nope we did yoga on our balcony! It was hilarious! Anyway, once we were sufficiently stretched out, we went swimming. We swam for probably a half hour and then just lolly gagged around the pool. Then we came back to the room and napped and read and just hung out the rest of the day, it was our "do nothing" day!
This morning we got up and got ready for our whale watching excursion. We caught the bus across the street from the hotel, let me tell you, ive never experienced anything like being in a Public Mexican bus! haha SUPER crowded, but people were pretty nice so I have no complaints.
We were dropped off by the bus in the middle of town and had to work our way to the marina to catch our boat- good thing we were early! Finding our way to the marina included stopping to buy sunscreen (because we didnt bring any- silly us) and kleenex for dad and walking through the very large mall that is right up against the marina. Then once we found the marina we had to walk ALL the way around it to find the slip of the boat that was taking us in our whale watching/ snorkeling excursion. This walk seriously probably took 20 minutes or more. BUt it wasnt too bad. Just a little hot. And once we got to dock M-O we were still about 1 hour early so we walked furhter and looked around at some of the little shops and sat at D'Joint restaraunt, and waited. There were 2-3 cute waiters and they were not afraid to dance to the fun Mexican music- let me tell you those boys could dance, and it made me smile! Then we went on our tour, there was the three of us and then another, older couple from Arkansas, and they were also staying at the same hotel as us, so that was fun. While watiting for departure we saw a sea lion mosey-ing around the marina, which was cool. Then once we were on our way, not even 15-25 minutes after we departed from the marina we saw a whale. It came up twice and then was gone, but hey at least we got to see it. It was an hour ride to the place that we were gonna stop to snorkel and along the way the crew had set up fishing poles. We caught two fish, the first one was fairly small and the lady from Arkansas reeled it in. The second one was about 20 pounds, a Mahi Mahi and mom got to reel it in! That was exciting, the crew even sliced it up and ade some sushi-salsa for lunch. Talk about FRESH food!! HAHA. And we saw another whale.
Once at the place for snorkeling, mom took off, dad slept and I read Eclipse. It was very relaxing. After the snorkeling hour was up we ate lunch and enjoyed our hour ride back to the marina. The food wasnt exactly food that I normally eat but I at least tried it. I found out that I really DONT like tunafish sandwhiches, and that the sushi-slasa that they made wasnt too bad. Though I still only had one bite. On the way back to the marina I kept reading Eclipse and then I took a nap.
Our crew members said that if there was a boat in the marina named "My Girl" it was Nicolas Cage's boat, I looked but didnt see it, which doesnt really mean anything because one could not possibly see ALL of the boats, the marina was HUGE. So we shopped in the mall for a hour or so and then made our way to a restaraunt called 'Mi Casa' where we met up with our friends from Arkansas, enjoyed a WONDERFUL dinner and where I had my first public alcoholic beverage, a Margarita. I could definitely taste the rum, but I only got a tiny bit tipsy. After the great dinner, and being serenaded by a man and his guitar- which was one of those funny-you-have-to-be-there-things, we caught a taxi and headed back to the hotel. We were all pooped and just lounged around after that, and eventually went to bed.

You only have 100 years to live.

Here is a picture of the sunset from our first night here.

First I will recap the rest of Saturday night and then I will go over what we did Sunday.
After the beautiful sunset on Sat. we headed down to dinner on the beach. Some of the best food I have ever had, I can actually EAT in Mexico- this is a good thing, since I normally have trouble finding food in foreign countries. And one of the waiters folded a napkin into the shape of a butterfly for me! How come it is latinos that always are flirting with me?! oh well. And after dinner we just came back to the room and pretty much crashed.
Sunday-
Well we met Manuel at the airport when we arrived and he promised us all kinds of goodies for free, things like Whale watching tours, a round of golf for dad and massages for both myself and mom. Plus a blanket and a beach bag. But to get these things we had to sit through a timeshare talk. So we did. It was a very interesting deal, you buy a timeshare and you have it for 100 years. We got there at 8:30 and got a free breakfast, and the talk lasted until 2 pm. Then the person that was trying to sell us the timeshare was kind enough to drive us to the Mega- like a Wal-mart, so that we could get food and she then took us back to the hotel. Her name was Helen, she is originally from Canada and has a slight Canandian twang to her voice. And we got to ride in her Escalade, yes for some reason that fact kind of excites me! lol.
When we finally got back to the resort, we were exhausted, haha, so mom and I went and layed on some of the beds that are near the beach and read til we got cold. Then we came back to the room had dinner and I watched tv. RENT came on, and that was SUPER exciting!
Today I think I will finally go swimming! I will read some on the beach beds again and we might go into town. :)

Viva La Mexico!

We made it, I am sitting in one half of the room at the resort that we are going to be staying in for the next week in MEXICO! The day started super early and I got the best sleep on an airplane that I think I have ever had! And it was on a plane that my dad couldnt even stand up straight in! :)
So we started out at 4am Kentucky time and went to the airport, got everything checked in, had our annual Starbucks as we are departing and finally we departed. The plane was super small, but I slept most of the time so it doesnt even matter! Our first flight took us to Houston where we had a 4 hour layover, and this is where I started my first photography project that Calli has assigned me with my BRAND spanking new camera, if I get a chance I will upload pictures! That was interesting, and then I decided to take creepy stalker pictures- and that was super fun too! I pretended that I was taking pictures of my parents and just oh so carefully made my focus something or someone else!
The plane from Houston to Los Cabos was bigger, and we each got to have a row of 3 seats to ourself, which was SOOO nice. Mom layed out on her three seats, dad just sat normally, and I sat right in the middle of the row and took up as much space on the seats that I could will all of my STUFF! haha. We got into Mexico, got our passports stamped and then went looking for a ride to our resort. Here is where things get interesting, we met a nice man name Manuel, and he was saying that we could get lots of free things if we just listened to his speech tomorrow at breakfast. Sounds fine except that we have to meet him outside of the gates of our resort. I hope nothing goes bad, because he was working at the bus counter at the airport and we did make it safely to our hotel and all, but still it seems a bit off. Oh well, if this goes through we get free whale watching, dad gets a free round of golf- mom gets to be a passenger, and then mom and I each get a free 1/2 hour massage, how bad can it get huh?! I just hope it is all legal and such.
On to the more fun facts. The first thing that I see coming into the airport is a large building with Corona- as in the beer, scrawled all over it. Good times. The first thing my parents ask when we check in is whether or not I am old enough to drink- which I am, legal age is 18 in Mexico, and when my parents found this out their response was to get me sloshed! How wonderful right? The sad thing is that for the first time ever I have screamed NO! lol. So we will see how this goes! One of the hotel policies is to put a wrist band on every guest- I saw it and was immediately reminded of Katrina (for those of you who dont know her, she is a friend from Transy). So it looks as if we all have those hospital wristbands on! AND the first thing that we got to see on TV here in Mexico? UK vs. IU basketball game!
Now we are all just relaxing, and I just saw one of the most gorgeous sunsets ever! - No worries, I got LOTS of pictures!
Hasta Luego!

In Thanks

Things that I am Thankful for:
family
friends
animals that are full of love all the time
music to heal the soul
Basketball
my voice- that sometimes fails me, but its still nice to have one
the children of my life, that are growing up SO fast- soon they will be young adults
heartache- because even though its not fun, its a part of life, and it means that i love something
movies- ones that just put you in whatever mood you feel like you need to be in
the fact that i have a family that loves me
I have so much to live for, and for that I am thankful.

I am troubled though by things that maybe I do that hurt my family and friends, and I wish only that I didnt do them, but I am human and I do make mistakes, so I am sorry.

Trying to stay peaceful

I am sitting in the library at Transy. Its not because I want to be here or even because that I feel that I need to be here to get work done. No, today I am in the library to get away from everything else, and mostly so that I don't go and sit in my room and have a pity party for myself. Is it sad that I sit in the library to avoid my own personal pity party? Eh, it really doesnt matter all that much.
After much nagging by my mother, and really needing to go talk to my Econ Professor, I did actually go to his office to talk to him about my past grade. I was first struck by the amount of STUFF- papers, projects, books- that he had in his office, stacked everywhere, it was actually quite comfortable. But thats where the comfort ended. I got a 60 on the last test, which was brought up to a 65 but still, thats a D and I dont like D's. So I asked him what I could do different, his answer? Spend 4 hours a day outside of class rather than the 1-2 that I am already spending. I cried, yes, as my usual when I go see a professor and dont understand why I am pretty much failing. No, I am not failing his class, in fact I have a fairly nice B, but I still feel like a failure. And all I can think was that I would have been just as lost, and confused and had the same feeling of failure had I not gone and seen him, now its just a deeper sense of failure. I still dont really know what went wrong with the last test, but I do know that I get to go back and read all the information all over again and again. I'm just really upset that he couldnt give me any pointers. Oh well, live and learn right? At least he complimented me on my attitiude towards the class as well as my preparedness for class discussion and such. Maybe that will help bump me to a B+, considering I do well on the final.
Besides Econ, I am just ready to get off campus for a while. I need a break from people, and even my room isnt a place for me to hide right now. Oh well, it will come soon enough, for now though, I must get back to the 100+ pages I have to read for cell and molec. Thats my vent for the day.

I just can't help myself

This morning I got up early to work on my 5 page paper that is due tomorrow. I wasn't getting much done in my room so I decided to go to the local Panera to get some work done. While eating my bagel and settling into my surroundings, I was people watching. I observed a middle aged man, sitting with who I assume to be his wife and possibly daughter. When the younger woman got up from the table this man also stood up. Then when he and his wife were preparing to leave, he got up and help out her coat in order to help her get dressed. Apparently all the gentlemen haven't all gone! I am not one that likes those particular things necessarily but rarely do you get to see them happen in real life!
Anyway, this isn't the only time I have seen some great demonstrations of good men in the past couple of days. Last night a couple of friends and I went to the Transy/Centre basketball game. Transy won, by 2 points. But again, I was people watching. Two of my classmates, who happen to be dating showed up. The girl, had knee surgery just this past week and her boyfriend, well he was very caring. When they walked in he was carrying her purse, then he went and got her food, then he brought her meds to her, he watched over her, making sure that others didnt jostle her knee, but he wasn't hovering. Thats what I feel the most important thing was, no he was standing with his friends, but he would come check on her every 15 minutes or so. It was just pretty darn sweet.
Another thing that happened at the game, happened during halftime. One of Centre's most recent alums came out on the floor, and he proposed to his girlfriend. I gotta say, that would be the BEST proposal in my book! I can only hope that the guy that I end up with would do something similar, I mean baseball games- yea those happen. But proposing at halftime of your College's biggest rivalry game? That was just amazing!
Well, those are my thoughts on the day thus far. I now have to work on the paper that I came to Panera to work on!
Maybe one of these days I will find myself one of the gentlemen that still exist in this world!

And Death hits again

Yes, I am experiencing yet another death in my life. My neighbor, George, who was like a grandfather to me has passed away. So many of my childhood memories involve George, and this is almost as important as losing my grandma last year. I think that I have reacted to every death in the past year and a half differently, this time I threw myself into listening to music, when my grandma died my friends surrounded me and had me watch a movie.
What to say about George? He was such an interesting person, definately a southern white man, and someone who was always watching out for me and the rest of the kids in the neighborhood. I remember his chicken coop, and Amber (our shepherd) stealing chickens, I remember riding on his tractor and steering, watching him dig his ponds, trying to teach me to shoot a gun, giving me a puff of a cigarette at age 5 (which was pretty much the best way to keep me from smoking), hanging out in his shop, and all his woodwork. That man was there for everything, my first birthday, helping my mom build things, always a gardener, and watching out for the neighborhood. He followed a vagrant, was there when Shawn fell over his handlebars and knocked out his two front teeth. Eggs, we would always go to his shop and raid his chicken eggs. He was always working on something and mom and I would frequently watch, just for the heck of it. Walking through his shop was like walking into a store where everything was made or fixed by hand. A good ol' boy, he would stop me on my way to the bus stop at 6am and tell me stories about his childhood and riding horses. The smell of his house was unique, and so familiar and cozy. Running over one of his weeping willows with the golf cart- breaking the golf cart but not reall hurting the tree. Chasing horses in his field. Deedee his mean pitbull.
Bottom line? I am going to miss this person, he was probably the best example of a grandfather that has been present throughout my life.
Goodbye George.

Getting my feelings out there

Yes, I was happy with the way the election turned out, but even if it had gone the other way I would have been supportive. I am not a fan of politics and I am not always a fan of the US but I am supportive, and I am not going to move away because an election turned out opposite of what I wanted. I am worried about one thing though, and thats the fact that the democrats have majority in both the house and the senate and we now have a democratic president. For me, this says two things. One: the people have spoken and they are ready for something different, they are ready to let the government try something different, more power to us. But on the other hand, will a democratic majority in both the house and the senate be beneficial? I dont know, we will find out.
Another thing that I wanted to touch on was how everyone is different. America strives on saying that we are accepting, and look we even have an African American president elect but acceptance is more than skin color. I have several gay friends and a few states have taken away more rights for gay people, to me thats not being accepting. And then theres the people who want to move to Canada because Obama got elected, well Canada HAS gay marriage, and Canada HAS universal health care, the only thing you are getting away from is the stuggles to move towards that.
And abortion, I respect how people feel, but that doesnt mean that I understand it. Why would you want to take away a woman's right to choose? As my mom says, "Shouldn't every child be a wanted child?", if you get rid of abortion you are allowing people to bring unwanted children in this world, and yes, putting the children up for adoption is a viable choice but SO many children are orphans in this world, if we keep abortion we are giving the current orphans a better chance. A person that I am very close to had an abortion, and it was the best decision for her at the time, granted she says she would never do that again, but it was what was needed at that point in her life. And honestly, though it might be odd, I think that knowing someone who has had an abortion is a good thing. There is something to be said for going against the grain, and doing what is best for oneself rather than what the world tells you to do.

At the end of the day, my message through this rant is that I respect everyone, and their right of free speech, but we are Americans and we need to support each other, even if we don't agree. If we show other countries that people who disagree on politics can get along and live together in a single country, think of the positive role model that the US becomes. No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes, but learning to overcome and work together is a more important and valuable skill that we need to learn. So heres to the change, to everyone's differences, and looking toward a better future for my friends who are gay- hopefully people will come around, eventually.

Tired of people dissing other people

Its not just me, but I feel that a lot of dissing is going on around campus, and I guess thats what happens when you get a big group of girls together and emotions run high with tests and everyone gets stressed. But there comes a point when people just need to learn to keep their mouths shut. I admit I occasionally say things that shouldnt be said but I do feel bad about them and I have a hugely guilty conscious. I feel, though, that many of my practices are being dissed, examples include I didnt study for hours last night for a test that is happening tomorrow, so I must not know the information as well, or I am for some reason a worse student because of this- that just doesnt cut it, I have different study habits than everyone else, I have to study during the day, and the morning is the best time for me to study, by the time evening rolls around I am exhausted mentally and I just need a break. Another example that happened was that friends said that they were discussing a professor's teaching habits and how bad they were and would I like to join, my response? "No, thanks, I actually understand and enjoy the way that particular professor tries to convey information." I dont understand why people put down other people just to make themselves feel better, its not needed, maybe understanding your own strengths and weaknesses would be a better way to know when you are doing well. I mean I know that I am not a straight A student in college, but I am doing better this semester than I did last year. And I know that my test grades in my CMB class arent great, but I am not about to kill myself trying to get a 100%. I have been studying all week for the class and there just comes a point when I need to chill out and let my brain absorb everything before I put more in it to digest! Anyway, I need to submit my Accounting homework and then start feeding my brain again, I will vent again soon!

Half Birthday

Its not something that I routinely celebrate, but today is my half birthday. Its been a pretty fun day, as I told my mom, I feel wonderful physically, and ok mentally and thats about as good as I will get for a while. I have a midterm on Monday and then another big Cell and Molec test on Thursday, and I am going home this weekend, where both of my parents are sick. YAY, sort of. It will be wonderful to spend time with my parents, even if they are sick and I probably wont get to see them much, if at all before Thanksgiving after this weekend. It will be wonderful, as always to see my Payton Pooh. And the other thing that I have to look forward to this weekend is a 5k Run/walk, in which I will be walking! I have a goal of being able to run a full 5k by the end of May term this coming year. My newest goal is to be able to run 1 mile by the end of this semester, yea, I just set that while sitting here on the computer! Maybe I should qualify that last statement, I hope to run a mile within a workout, which for me is roughly 2 miles, this means that I am NOT going to make myself run a full mile straight, not yet anyway. I shaved two minutes off my mile by jogging some between Monday and Wednesday!
Well, I guess thats about it for the moment! Off to do some studying!

Deep Breath

It seems that everytime that I get my feet under me, something knocks me over. Its not just one part of life that is doing this to me but a couple of parts. With school, I went through a week phase where I was accomplishing things and doing well, and then I had my cell and molec test and oh no you arent doing so well after all. With, the sorority I had issues, and then things were kind of smoothed over. Well last night they had what I felt was a surprise membership selection and because I hadnt paid dues I had no voice and no vote. Needless to say I was thinking about whether or not the sorority was the right place for me once again. Then I was ushered out of the room and hugged and supported while I just cried my eyes out. I guess I stay for the 35 good people there and help them to help me to deal with the 10 or so bad people. Why oh why do these people care so much about image? Cant we please get back to the reason that this sorority was founded? I hope that with the help of the people who are supporting me now, I can overcome this barrier. Next time my voice will be heard!

Full Disclosure

I am very close to my family and tell them pretty much everything that happens in my life, I guess it was just the way that I was raised. So the other day when I went to a Fraternity party, I called my mom. The party was my first, and it was interesting. It was held in a field and there were buses that took people to and from the party. A whole bunch of people were drinking of course, but not me, and the 3 of my friends that went. We were good and sober and connected at the hip almost literally. But it was fun and I would do it again.

Then Saturday I got to get up early and help with a Habitat for Humanity house, and that was SO fulfilling, amazing, wonderful and humbling. I want to participate in more! We didnt get to help with the actual building of the house, but we got to help with some of the small details. We did some landscaping work, we layed sod. Rolled the grass out and had an instant yard! Instant gratification as well. I am hoping to volunteer more with Habtitat for Humanity either with the sorority or my friends, or just by myself!

Feeling Reflective

Through everything going on in my life, good or bad, happy or sad, there is always one person that I can count on, myself. Today while sitting through a really interesting leadership seminar I felt grounded. and just throughout the day I felt as if I was being watched over. Now, I am not one who usually says so-and-so is watching over me and I will be fine, but yesterday I just felt the presence of my grandma. It was like I was giving her a taste of my life, I was giving her a tour of what was going on in my life, and I had warm-fuzzies. I felt her approval.
I felt for the first time in a while that I really have control of my life. I can be who I want to be and do what I want to do, and it doesnt matter what people think. I only have to depend on myself, yes, the support of family and friends is nice but I shouldnt depend on that, and I am getting better at being happier with myself. I was thinking about where I have been, where I am going and how many people might think that I am spoiled because I have pretty much gotten everything in my life that I need or want, but really theres more to me than that.
Where I have been: As I have said before this past year has been a really tough year for me and before when people said that they were proud of me I just kinda took it with a grain of salt, but now I feel honored when people tell me that they are proud of me, I am proud of myself now and I think thats the difference. I have never had to really work for my meals, work to pay bills and such but I have always been taught to appreciate the life that I am fortunate to live, and I do appreciate it, more than anyone can know, and its because I have also been exposed to the other sides of life. And I am just so grateful to have been able to live the blessed life that I have.
Where I am going: This is harder for me to think about, hopefully in 10 years I will have graduated college, graduated from graduate school. I hope to be financially secure and to have the beginnings of a family. I look at my life now, and inevitably I compare it to my brothers' lives, though I know that mine will be different. Chris was married at 21- which for me is less than 2 years away, and Jimmy was married at 25. I hope that I will be married around 23 but life never goes as planned, so we shall see. And then I look around and my friends are getting engaged and married, and some of them are just in nice committed relationships, and though I would love to have something like that I am scared of it as well. But boyfriend or not, my life is moving forward and so am I. I kinda feel bad that most of my thoughts about the future revolve around having a boyfriend/husband, but then again, in America we are taught to get married and make babies, so its not totally surprising I guess. I suppose it will all happen soon enough and I should enjoy where I am now, and so thats what I'll do. The leadership presentation that I went to was about internal motivation, and so I am gonna concentrate on that for a while. Motivate myself to be the best person, student, and fan that I can be, because those reflect the things that are important to me. I strive to be a good person, to help out friends and anyone really that I can, to work hard in my school work and do the best I can with that and to go to sporting events which just make me feel whole in a way.
Being Spoiled: Yes, I have gotten roughly everything that I have needed or wanted throughout my life, but I dont think that I am spoiled as much as some of the people here at Transy. I appreciate how life is hard for some people and I know how to shop on a budget and not spend more than I am given, I know how to make things when I dont have the money to buy them, and I know how important friends and family are and I think that balances out how spoiled I am. Or at least, I hope it does.
Bottom line, the future scares me and excites me at the same time, so I am working hardest at living my life in the present, forgetting about the silly things of my past and only looking toward my future when I absolutely feel its necessary. And if at some point in my life I change ONE person's life then I will feel a sense of wholeness, like things have come full circle!

The Rattle of the Keyboard

I am looking for a way to go back to being as laid back as I was before the whole sorority thing happened. For some reason it made something snap inside of me and I have been working to get that thing to unsnap so to speak. And I have employed many things thus far and the only thing that has really calmed me is sporting events. But a close second is the sound of typing. I love the rattle of the keyboard that my fingers create, it actually has a musical tone. This musical tone is where my current happiness is coming from. And that is all I had to say! heehee.

Family Time

I love spending time with my family, and this weekend was no different. Friday night I went to Big Blue Madness with my dad and brothers and we had a great time. I got made fun of, which for some reason always makes smile, if not when it happens then later when I actually think about it. And I was starting to really need my brothers to make fun of me! :) Of course, we had fun at the basketball event, and then we were driving home and we all started singing some oldies songs, and even dancing in the car. It was just fun. There was also a walk down memory lane. Man growing up makes life more complicated, and I am not saying its bad, I am just saying that I still see brief moments of the simpler times and it makes me happy.
Saturday was more family time. My sister-in-law threw a birthday party for my brother and it was nice. I got to spend some time with my neices and nephews, not so much my brothers but I think it was a good thing. I really miss those kids when I am at school.

Now for other things, life is always changing, and its frustrating, but its also nice too. I mean I seriously hope that in ten years that I would be married with a kid or two but I honestly cant really see it. I guess part of it is that I havent met a guy? I dont know. And at this point it doesnt necessarily matter, its just that I see my brothers and their families and I just hope that things work out for me. I think my brothers mother-in-law tried to tell me that I could have invited my boyfriend to the party, except that there isnt one! She said to me, "you could have invited some of your friends" and I responded with "none of them live around here, or are anywhere really near Bullitt County" only looking back on it can I see that maybe she mean that I could have invited a particular friend. One problem?- I dont have one, no boyfriend in my life. Ugh, I am tired and I have a nice long day tomorrow. Write again soon.

A day to day type of thing

I feel as if I am experiencing a great deal of monotony. I get up I go to two classes, I go to lunch, I study, I experience some sort of event around 4, Dinner at 5:30 and then either studying or TV, and that is my day. I am very excited for the upcoming weekend + two extra days! Not only will it break the monotony that I feel but I will get to spend 4 nights at home, how wonderful. I have gone 3 weeks of staying at Transy, my record thus far and even the weekend that I went home I was working and didnt get to spend hardly any time with my family. For me this weekend will be a nice deep breath before I have to take on the second half of the semester, yes we are roughly halfway through the semester!
For the rest of this week, I just really need to focus on my Cell and Molec. because of the test on Friday. Today I took notes on one of the chapters and plan to take my last set of notes later this evening, but my shoulder is killing me from such continuous writing, and therefore I am off to the Beck Center for a walk/ some exercise! Its my break from the studying monotony, but becoming a habit in and of itself! Funny how things like that work out!

Working Hard

This morning I woke up after only 6 hours of sleep- yes only, I work hard to get my full 8 hours of sleep each night, sick and miserable. I had a test today and I was worried about it, and I have another test on Friday that I am worried about. I guess its all about college right? Anyway, I called my mommy, and she made me feel better. Apparently she wont disown me if I try my hardest and still dont pass with flying colors (always a good thing to be reminded of)! And then I took my Microeconomics test, and I was relieved to realize that I really did know the material, and I am always flattered and happy when people ask me about the material and not only can I explain it, they understand it- something that happened as we were waiting to take the test. Someone told me that economics came naturally to me, and I dont think its necessarily true but I am working at it and I guess maybe its good that it seems that it comes naturally for me? I think so anyway. After the test, which went well, I had my favorite class, Accounting. We got our test that we took last week back. And here is where I am going to brag about myself. The class average was a 61% on this test, not only did I beat the class average, I got a 85%. Its not an A, but it was good considering the class average, and my professor even told me that I did well and gave me a pat on the back. See, life doesnt always beat you down, you occasionally get a nice high five! Needless to say some of my stress was gone!

I got a nice short nap in after lunch and then I got to work on my cell and molecular studying. I am starting to actually enjoy reading textbooks and taking notes, I must be becoming a true student! HAHA. After 2 hours of studying I went to an informational meeting for one of the May term trips that is being offered, and I have to say, that I REALLY REALLY WANT TO GO! Its a trip to Greece/Turkey and there are really 2 trips. One is 16 days and is all Greece and the other is 26 days and Turkey gets added in, and really three classes are being taught, theres a philosophy class, a history class and an anthropology class- I am hoping that it will go as a general requirement for me, but if it doesnt then oh well. I have gotten my grandma's permission and now I just have to compose a paragraph or two stating why I want to go, and why they should pick me over other students that are interested.

After that meeting, I was still kind of blitzed from my cell and molec and went to the second half of the boys soccer game. Man, watching that just makes me want to play so bad. I mean I was never great at it but I did have a small passion for it and I think a tiny piece of me will always want to be on a soccer field whenever I see one. But it was really nice to watch, the soccer games can get just as violent and amusing as basketball games! I think one of Transy's players was even bodyslammed by one of the opposing teams players, it was interesting. It rained some and that was refreshing and Transy won 3-1. All goals being scored in the second half. And as my usual I think I got to know the mother of the guy on the team that I think is cute. Funny how I always get to know parents rather than the actual guys, I mean there is good and bad both in doing that! :)

Back to cell and molec then for me. And not only studying but writing a paper, and with 2 other people at that. The good thing is that we all mesh fairly well and we get things done quickly! Anyway, I am feeling better now and I can do this, I just needed a little reassurance- I get kind of needy that way occasionally! I am SO glad though that this weekend is fall break and I get a couple of days to relax, I will be able to recooperate not only from the sickness but also from just going going going so much so fast! And I think I have found a second way to center myself when I am overwhelmed- Sporting events. The soccer game today was just the key to my day! I guess I never realized that I feel better, pumped even after sporting events, soccer and basketball are the drugs of choice but I can go for a baseball game as well! And if you are wondering the other thing that centers me? Its traveling! Something about just getting away from everything makes things better!

And now my cell and molec is calling my name!

Graphic Images

The good news is that I got to hug a dog. It was a chocolate lab, who was very friendly, licking my face and then gently holding my hand in his mouth. It made my heart happy, granted its not the same as being with my dogs back home but it was still a BIG dog and a dog lick to the face!

The bad news, is that the right side of my face is swollen from the gum boil that I have, and food is now getting stuck in said gum boil- its taking over my face! (Told ya "Graphic images") And the right side of my neck is sore, but I can bend my head back and forth and side to side, so I am pretty sure its not meningitis. BUT I do think that I will go to the nurse tomorrow morning, bright and early and see what sh has to say.

I'll leave ya with those mental images! :)