Roadtrip aftermath

Yesterday, my roomie, a friend of ours and I drove 4 hours to go see our basketball team play. I had a blast, the drive up wasnt great fun though- I do believe that is the worst weather I have ever driven through, it got snowy and icey pretty darn fast. But we made it there safe- and I am a pretty safe driver- I am really glad I was driving, though I was not happy about the weather I think I may have ahd a panic attack if someone else was driving- I know that sounds weird, but its me :). Anyway got to see the last 10:37 minutes of the girls game- they won- YAY. And got to move down to the lower level- front row, right behind our team for the guys game. There were a few other students that made the drive but mostly we were surrounded by parents. Parents are my favorite- I just love how intense they are, and I love how much the players of our team respect and love their parents, its priceless. After the game we stayed to congratulate players and then back in the road for the 4 hour drive home. The drive home was much better than the drive up!
I think I dreamt of lots of basketball things last night because when I woke up this morning I had the Saint on my mind. It was the first coherent thought that I had this morning, and I honestly cant think of a time where that has ever happened to me before, and it threw me off, so thus my whole day has been off. I have been experiencing LOTS of different emotions from jealousy, to excitement, guilt and sadness. Its almost too much to handle. But life goes on and so must I.
I am so glad that we get to host the tourney this weekend but gosh I have had this weekend planned out since before Christmas, so trying to fit in other basketball games is NUTS! I will do what I can and I must not feel guilty for missing a game- no matter how big it is, my mom is more important than any basketball game, and thus so is spending time with her. But I will admit it wont be easy for me to turn off my basketball brain, so I KNOW I will be thinking about how we are doing during Mamma Mia. And missing this game will mean missing only my third home game ALL season. But even when I missed those games- I did watch them on the internet! Next year will be a bigger year for me. I really hope to go to more away games- those mini roadtrips are fun. And maybe just maybe next year I will be traveling with the team- working on stats. One can always hope- I mean that would be freaking awesome!

On to other things- I was reading the partial copy of Midnight Sun that is on Stephenie Meyer's website- its Edwards version of Twilight (It wasnt helpful to my disorganized mood today) but one of the things that caught my eye was: Reckless Angel. I really liked this term and I have applied it to myself as well as the Saint- kind of subconsciously. Sometimes I feel reckless in my feelings and I know I cant necessarily pick and choose the people I fall for- I mean if that were true then I would definitely NOT have picked the Saint. And I dont mean to sound full of myself, but I am, for the most part a good person that makes good decisions and thus thats where the Angel part comes in. And then turning it around to the Saint: Reckles in some of the decisions that he makes, but still he is an Angel in my eyes, and I honestly cant help it. As I said before, if I could help it then he wouldnt be the object of my attention- not because hes not worthy, but because he is already taken, in what seems to be a fairly happy relationship.

I guess I just dont get it. I dont really get people, and I dont always understand myself. Why would someone who plays the game of basketball with all his heart fall for and be with someone who clearly doesnt really love the game. Is it that opposites attract, or is it that at this point its comfortable? And then at the same time, its not my place to be privy to such details. Its not my life, and I usually dont care what others do with their lives, as long as it doesnt effect me and this shouldnt be any different, but for some reason it is different. I cant tell you why, maybe because he is the person that I have fallen for most recently, and I want him to be happy? But then he IS happy- at least on the outside. So why to I feel protective? I feel as if I mean more to him than I actually do, and I feel as if he deserves better. Maybe thats true- but then again why am I so judgemental over this girl that he obviously is happy with. See I keep going in circles! UGH

I suppose the next topic of blogging conversation here is the sorority issue- tomorrow they will vote on my voluntary probation. And I will be free, for the rest of the semester, I mean I have to go to one event a month but other than that Im free. Then in May I meet with the standards committee again to decide whether I am to return or whether I am done for good. This probation period couldnt come soon enough.

And lastly- still wondering who the stats person is, you know the one that brought me the stats after the basketball game last week? Apparently you read this, so maybe I can get a copy of the stats on Saturday?- assuming we win Friday- I would ask for the Friday stats but I am not going to be at the game- see above. And your name- since I missed it the first time, can you tell me again?! :)

Thats it for now, ~Reckless Angel.