Its silly and I feel stupid, really. I mean its not even THAT worth it, hes just a boy, and Im just a girl and I shouldnt be so damn head over heels. He is taken, which makes it worse. I first saw him about a year ago and REALLY admired the way that he plays the game- he has a passion that I have NEVER seen before, and I have seen lots of displays of passion for the game. From there its just gotten worse. Not only is he a great player, but he also is a good student and majoring in the same thing as me. I even have a class with him this semester, which is awesome, well it would be if we talked at all. I am so freaking shy that its silly, almost comical even. I can now talk to him on facebook- GREAT, but talking to him in person still just doesnt happen, its not like I havent tried, I have even gotten up to walk over to where he was to say something, but words dont come out of my mouth, or he is talking on his phone- sometimes both. I need to find a better way to waste my time- but having said that, it doesnt happen, sure I study and thats good- and probably not a waste of my time, and I watch movies, and I watch basketball, and I hang out with my friends but still hes there in the back of my mind. SO FRUSTRATING. Why cant I fall for someone that I acutally have a chance with, someone who isnt taken- but perfect just the same? I guess because they are all taken. And how can I convince myself that I would do just fine if he was my friend? I mean lets be reasonable- thats all I am gonna be able to get out of this infactuation, but yet I still cant say real words to the boy.
I guess for now, I am allowed to get a high when he talks to me on facebook, and tells me that I am not nuts- fan is a better word! Or when he tells me that I am not bothering him with my question that I have about the homework. Yes, I guess for now I live for those moments.
Maybe I will find my REAL happy ending. Haha. :)
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