Give and take, push and pull, right and wrong

I know no one likes him, except for me.
I know that everyone thinks hes using me.
I know that hes probably not the person that I will marry.
I know these things... and yet I am on a seesaw... push and pull.
I am ready to ride this thing out, once and for all.

Yet, it seems the ride isnt quite over. But things have changed. I dont want a real relationship with him anymore. I deserve better than what he has to offer, really. Do I have feelings for him still? Yea, of course I do, I've felt very strongly about him for roughly 2 years. Will I write him out of my life? Nope. Does knowing that I dont want a real relationship mean that I wont accept opportunities? Nope.

The only thing this means is that I know now that sometimes one has to be selfish- especially when you are talking about a significant other. Having fun with this guy? Yea, no problem. Settling down with him? Hell no!

So far hes the only fish in the sea biting. But its time to reel the line back in, resecure the bait and cast out my line again.

I want to find someone who will want me every day, someone who can go a day without talking to me but would rather not. As Blake Shelton sings it, I want to be the Honeysuckle to some guy's honey bee. (The song is Honey Bee if you wanna listen to it.)