Baby, you're a firework....

Happy Fourth of July, friends!

Here I am, on family vacation with 11 of the people who are closest to me.
My nieces and nephews think Im the cool one, because I dont seriously discipline them- I'm not someones mommy, so I dont get seriously mad... I do minimal disciplining. This makes me the cool one. And I am the funnest in the water- I dont know what makes me different than their parents, but I am. Maybe because I just let them hang all over me and I dont try to get them to try new things that scare them. I just chill out there with them and do my damnedest to keep them from going under. I am hoping that on the next family vacation, I am still the favorite and that they all choose to like ride in the car with me... thats what I would love, but, they are kids, they get to decide what they want to do.
The eldest has been bent out of shape a fair amount during this trip- poor kid. I think she just wants more individual attention, and specifically because shes oldest. But, thats not really my call...

I sit here, watching fireworks by myself, and I am oddly content. This family vacation has been different than the others. I dont know if its that I have a buddy to hang out with, whether I've just grown up or what. Yet, even though things change, there are still some things that will stay the same. I will always be the youngest, and my brothers will always be able to scare me. But there will always be the times that I dont fit, I like to read and my family, besides my mom doesnt, not only that they cannot fathom why we like to read.
And, I have far deeper country roots than either of my brothers, which is just sad to me. But I guess such is life.

I still dont know what my role in this family is, but I am the youngest child and so I mostly go along with what everyone else wants to do. Maybe, one of these days I'll get tired of just doing whatever and decide to stand up for myself. But I spend far too much looking into the future, and not enough in the present.

I guess what I am wanting to say, but cant quite get out has more to do with Katy Perry, and the whole message that she sends in her song Firework, which I am sure most people have heard. And thus maybe, someday eventually I will stop feeling like a plastic bag floating in the wind and ignite my light and let it shine.

I just want to be with someone who will deal with the fireworks that I will bring into life! haha!