"Because it keeps you in my life"

Thats the reason I get. The reason that he wont tell me my definition in his life.
But, to me that says if he were to tell me the definition that I would run away.
Its been 2 years, doesnt he know by now, I dont run away- at least not for long.
I've always come back. And I dont give up on people who want me in their life- unless its unclear to me as to whether or not they want me in their life.

That was 2 nights ago now.
After I got that text I got another one that said "Your in it more than you think" in reference to me being in his life.
And then nothing. No contact yesterday or today.

That seems very selfish.
Yea, not telling me keeps me in your life. But whats keeping you in my life?
I'll ask you what I have asked you before...
Whats in it for me, J?
Am I supposed to just wait around for you to decide that oh, today you want to talk to me. Today you want to see me. That some day you might show up and kiss me again?
Or maybe, maybe you do just want to have me around in case nothing else pans out. And from where I'm sitting, thats a dirty, sick, mean trick, dude.
And then theres the third choice. The idea that maybe you are scared. I dont know what you are scared of, but I would like to know what it is, if you are.

I am not dumb. I may seem dumb to a lot of my friends for sticking around. But I am not dumb. I know what my odds are, and I am ok with them. There's two sides to the story, darlin, and you know my side. I'd love to hear your side. Even if what you really want is to move to Australia to be with Faith. (Remember telling me about her?)

Its funny, I relate a lot to Sweet Home Alabama, the movie- I know you are familiar with it. And theres one part in the movie that makes me wonder if you are doing something similar. Don't worry, I wont give anything away, whats the fun in that? :)